专题05 衔接和连贯的秘密（1） 讲义+练习

这是一份专题05 衔接和连贯的秘密（1） 讲义+练习，共10页。试卷主要包含了全面审视语篇，明确话题主旨，拓展主题语句，注重语篇连贯，文末阐释结论，确保首尾呼应等内容，欢迎下载使用。
文章语篇的连贯，是以内容合理布局作为前提条件的。所以，若想写出一篇高分作文，审题是极为关键的一步，一般遵循以下几个步骤：
**审读情景材料**：也就是要对试题所提供的“情景”（涵盖目的、对象、时间、地点、内容等方面）及其“形式”（一般为图画、图表、提纲等）进行全面了解，同时，最后提供的“注意”事项也绝不能忽视。例如，在一篇关于校园活动的写作中，题目给出了活动的时间、地点、参与人员等情景信息，以及以图表形式呈现的活动流程，这就需要我们全面审视这些内容。
**提炼主题思想**：在审题的过程中，要留意从给定材料中提炼出一个主题，也就是作文的核心。这是全文成败的关键所在，因为“评分说明”明确指出：“紧扣主题的适当发挥不会被扣分”。一般来说，文章的主题不会超出高中生学习和日常生活中的所见所闻。比如，给定材料描述了同学们在图书馆的不同行为，我们就可以提炼出“倡导文明阅读”这样的主题。
**进行信息筛选**：确定主题之后，就要依据所需文体（多为应用文、记叙文或说明文），围绕主题对获取到的信息进行筛选，突出重点内容。比如，如果是写一篇关于旅游经历的记叙文，对于旅途中看到的各种风景和发生的事情，就需要挑选与此次旅行最精彩、最有意义的部分来写。
**列举表述要点**：这是评分标准规定的重要标准，即是否“涵盖了所有内容要点”。在动笔写作之前，最好在草稿纸上列出要点，以防因时间紧张等因素而遗漏。假设要写一篇介绍学校运动会的文章，就可以在草稿纸上列出运动会的项目、参与人员、精彩瞬间等要点。
**确定主题句**：段落通常由一个体现段落中心思想的主题句和一些用于说明、描写、论证该主题的发展句构成。主题句非常关键，对段落各句起到提纲挈领的作用。一般情况下，主题句位于段落开头，清晰明了地告知读者该段落要陈述的内容。为便于展开下文，主题句一般需具备以下两个特点：
- **内容明确具体**：要具有特定性和单一性，避免笼统。对比：
- “Learning English hlds significance.”（学习英语具有重要意义。）
- “Learning English is f great imprtance fr middle schl students.”（学习英语对中学生而言至关重要。） 第二句就比第一句更具体明确。
- “Tm is an excellent student.”（汤姆是个优秀的学生。）
- “Tm is a diligent student.”（汤姆是个勤勉的学生。）同样，第二句更具体。
- **语言简洁直接**：例如在题为“Hnesty(谈诚实)”一文中的开头：“Hnesty ranks amng the tp virtues. An hnest individual is cnstantly trusted and esteemed. Cnversely, ne wh tells falsehds is regarded as a ‘liar’ and is despised by hnest flks.”（诚实位列最佳美德之中。诚实之人始终受到信任与敬重。相反，说谎之人会被视作“骗子”，遭到诚实之人的鄙视。）
二、拓展主题语句，注重语篇连贯
主题句只是提出基本观点，要让评卷老师理解你的观点，就必须展开主题，思考如何组织安排语句，也就是说，文章词与词、句与句之间要紧密衔接，具有连贯性。因此，文章语句和段落要进行适当排序，并依据具体内容选择合适的连接方式，常用方法如下：
**巧用过渡词语，梳理句子逻辑关系**：为使文章整体结构严密、浑然一体，增强说服力和感染力，确保段落或文章连贯，考生应在句子与句子之间，甚至段落与段落之间，恰当地使用过渡性词语，让文意表达清晰流畅。过渡连接词按语义可分为以下常见类型：（见下表）
表2：过渡衔接词举例
|逻辑关系|常见过渡词语|
|表示添加信息|and, as well, t, apart frm, furthermre, alng with, either…r, neither…nr…, in additin t, mrever, what’s mre, nt merely…but als, even wrse|
|表示转折关系|but, yet, nnetheless, althugh, n the cntrary, therwise, whilst, rather, still, ntwithstanding，despite, in cntrast, cnversely, whereas|
|表示递进关系|apart frm, additinally, mrever, even wrse, mst imprtantly, surely, furthermre, what is mre, in additin, abve all, t make things even wrse|
|表示因果关系|s, fr, thus, as a result, because f, due t, wing t, thanks t, therefre, since, hence, n the grunds f, cnsequently, as a cnsequence, it fllws that…|
|表示条件关系|as lng as, prvided that, unless, n the cnditin that|
|表示解释、说明关系|in fact, actually, such as, fr instance, and s frth, accrding t, after all, indeed, it is time, f curse, specifically, truly, that is t say, namely, in ther wrds, t be hnest, an example f, t be specific, t illustrate|
|表示强调|Truly, in fact, surely, certainly, indeed, particularly, undubtedly, withut dubt, bviusly, mst imprtantly, It is…that…|
|表示时间顺序关系|nw, after that, initially, at the start, t cmmence with, subsequently, next, ultimately, sn, abruptly, befre, when, while, as, during, first…secnd…, then, finally, afterwards, after a while, instantly, all f a sudden, at that mment, the mment, frm nw n, frm then n, meanwhile, nt…until, eventually |
|表示空间顺序关系|n the right／left, in the middle／center f／back／frnt f, here, there, adjacent t, n ne side f…n the ther side f, at the ft／tp／end|
|表示结论|as yu are aware, as far as I am cncerned, verall, in my view, in shrt, in brief, in summary, generally speaking |
例如：“The rm was repulsive. By the distant windw std a trash can heaped high with crumpled papers. In the middle f the rm was a rund - sized bed with decaying fruits. The path between the bed and the drway, where I was psitined, was littered with dirty clthes and ld newspapers.”（房间令人厌恶。远处的窗边有一个垃圾桶，堆满了皱巴巴的纸。房间中间是一张圆形的床，上面有腐烂的水果。我所在的床与门口之间的通道上满是脏衣服和旧报纸。）通过选择参照物，巧妙运用表示空间顺序的连接词，给读者清晰的空间概念，就像给评卷老师一幅空间布置图。
**使用平行结构，增强语感节奏与顺畅度**：平行结构的运用是一种修辞手法，既有词汇的重复，也有纯粹语法结构的重复。重复使用相同结构，既能使句子或段落节奏匀称，还能起到强调或承上启下的作用，引起评卷老师注意。
词的重复是常用连接手法，能强调所要表达的意思，还能让读者把当前句子与前文联系起来，如同用线将整个段落贯穿成整体，增强语感节奏，使句与句衔接更紧密顺畅。例如：
- “I cherish life; I cherish nature; and I cherish peace.”（我珍视生活；我珍视自然；我珍视和平。）
- “I'm a 17 - year - ld by and I'm currently studying at high schl. I'm prficient in English and I can cmmunicate with freign turists in English effrtlessly.”（我是一名17岁的男孩，目前正在高中学习。我精通英语，能轻松地与外国游客用英语交流。）
上述例子使用词汇重复，下面段落通过使用相同语法结构保证文章连贯流畅。
- “If I'm frtunate enugh t be selected as a vlunteer, apart frm the abve, I'll wrk diligently and innvatively, but never be indlent. I'll abide by the laws and regulatins, but never vilate them. I'll seize the pprtunity t befriend the athletes and visitrs, and assist them in making the 2008 Olympic Games a huge success.”（如果我有幸被选为志愿者，除上述内容外，我会勤奋且富有创新地工作，绝不懒惰。我会遵守法律法规，绝不违反。我会抓住机会与运动员和游客交朋友，帮助他们让2008年奥运会取得巨大成功。）
- “My mther has imparted t me certain rules fr interacting with thers. Dn't quarrel with parents; they'll think yu dn't lve them. Dn't quarrel with children; they'll cnsider themselves victimized. Dn't quarrel with spuses; they'll think yu're a tiresme partner. Dn't quarrel with strangers; they'll think yu're unfriendly. In fact, my mther's rules can be cndensed int tw wrds. Dn't quarrel.”（我母亲传给我一些与他人交往的规则。不要和父母争吵；他们会觉得你不爱他们。不要和孩子争吵；他们会认为自己受了委屈。不要和配偶争吵；他们会觉得你是个烦人的伴侣。不要和陌生人争吵；他们会觉得你不友好。实际上，我母亲的规则可以浓缩为两个字：别吵。）
**灵活运用代词，避免成分冗余**：除过渡性词语外，省略、替代和所指等技巧也能连句成段，避免啰嗦重复，保持段落连贯性。名词或代词是重要的关系指引词，不仅能指明句子内部某些词之间的关系，还能建立句子与句子之间意义上的联系，使段落中前后句子逻辑有条理地联系起来，起到承上启下的作用。例如：
- “Hwever, the number f students wh are fnd f reading ppular science articles is twice that f thse wh prefer reading articles abut learning methds.”（然而，喜爱阅读科普文章的学生数量是偏爱阅读学习方法类文章学生数量的两倍。）句中使用代词that代替the number，thse代替students，既避免重复单调，又简洁明了，过渡自然。
- “While surfing the Internet, I chanced upn yur ntice frm which I learned that yu were eager t have a Chinese friend.”（上网时，我偶然看到你的通知，从通知中我得知你渴望有一个中国朋友。）句中关系代词which引导的非限制性定语从句使主从句意义连贯。试比较：“While surfing the Internet, I chanced upn yur ntice. Frm the ntice I learned that yu were eager t have a Chinese friend.”
**巧用同义反义词，让文章连贯且有文采**：同义词与反义词运用得当，可避免单词重复，使文章内容不单调。文章在连贯的同时还能增添文采，给人新鲜感。例如：“I'm keen n music, especially classical music. I'm als interested in phtgraphy as it enables me t recrd the beautiful mments in my life. In fact, I enjy meeting peple and relish talking with them. Believing we all need mutual help, I value friend's help and I'm ready t assist anyne in need.”（我热衷于音乐，尤其是古典音乐。我也对摄影感兴趣，因为它能让我记录生活中的美好瞬间。实际上，我喜欢与人交往，享受和他们交谈。我相信我们都需要相互帮助，我珍视朋友的帮助，也乐意帮助任何有需要的人。）这里“be keen n”和“be interested in”就是同义词替换，让表达更丰富。
**巧用分词短语或独立结构**：简化句子结构可增强表达效果。巧妙利用分词短语或独立主格结构能使句子化繁为简，把复合句变为简单句；恰当使用独立成分可使句子表达形式多样，增强语言表达效果。它们各有特点：分词要遵循逻辑主语一致原则，而独立主格结构要遵循主语不一致原则；独立成分为约定俗成的固定形式，不受逻辑主语限制，如“Judging frm…, Frankly speaking (T be frank)”等。试看下列句子：
- “Cmpared t ther teachers, Mr. Mre places mre emphasis n his teaching methd.”（与其他老师相比，摩尔先生更注重他的教学方法。）（分词短语）
- “Weather permitting, we'll pay yu a visit tmrrw. =If weather allws, we'll pay yu a visit tmrrw.”（如果天气允许，我们明天去拜访你。）（独立主格结构）
试比较以下两个例句：
- （原句）“The driver fled; he left the ld man lying n the rad.”
- （修正句）“The driver fled, leaving the ld man lying n the rad.”（司机逃走了，留下老人躺在路上。）（分词短语）
**使用同位语**：避免重复，明晰句意。同位语的应用不仅能避免重复，还可使文章表述自然流畅，起到良好连接作用。例如：
- “Als, we can write t and talk with each ther n the Skype, an applicatin that can transmit bth sunds and wrds.”（我们还可以在Skype上互相写信和交谈，Skype是一个既能传输声音又能传输文字的应用程序。）
- “I'm Wangshan, a sixteen - year - ld girl, currently attending Beijing Yangguang Middle Schl.”（我是王珊，一名16岁的女孩，目前就读于北京阳光中学。）
**使用过渡句**：自然衔接句子和段落。过渡句在句子与句子、段落与段落之间起承上启下的作用，使句子或段落衔接自然、连贯，逻辑合理，结构严谨，非常重要。例如：“The summer vacatin is appraching. Our class has had a discussin regarding what t d during the vacatin…Sme are in favr f staying at hme…Hwever, thers wuld rather g ut fr a trip since it can expand their knwledge and braden their hrizns. But they'll miss the pprtunity t get t knw the utside wrld.”（暑假即将来临。我们班就假期做什么进行了讨论……一些人赞成待在家里……然而，另一些人更愿意出去旅行，因为这能拓展他们的知识，拓宽他们的视野。但他们会错过了解外面世界的机会。）
三、文末阐释结论，确保首尾呼应
文章结尾的作用是概括全文内容，进一步强调或肯定文章的中心思想，使文章意义表达更深刻，同时使文章首尾呼应，结构完整，连贯自然。用于结论段的常用语有：“frm this perspective(从这个角度来看)” “in shrt(简而言之)” “in cnclusin(综上所述)” “Thus, we can cnclude that…(因此，我们可以得出结论...)”等。例如：
- “In shrt, reading the riginal wrk is superir t watching the film adapted frm it.”（简而言之，读原著优于看根据原著改编的电影。）
- “Evidently, we can draw the cnclusin that gd manners stem frm pliteness and respect fr thers.”（显然，我们可以得出结论，良好的举止源于礼貌和对他人的尊重。）
综上所述，语言的连贯性主要体现在句与句、段与段之间。句与句之间要前后呼应，形成连贯紧密的关系，读起来顺畅自然；同样，段与段之间也要过渡自然，不能各自独立，破坏文章整体性。语言连贯性是评价一篇文章优劣的标准之一。缺乏连贯性、叙述顺序混乱、前言不搭后语的文章，会因“缺乏可读性”而被判较低分数档次。只有有效使用语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑、语篇连贯性强的文章，才能获得高分。
综合演练：
A sudden call came int Jimmy Gilleece’s bar this past March. A newly married wman wh had spent the afternn at the dive beach bar culdn’t find her wallet. She didn’t care abut her ID, credit cards, r $150 in cash, but her wedding ring was just inside.
Gilleece, 42, didn’t like the idea that a theft culd have happened at his place, s he spent hurs searching 16 different cameras, watching the wman’s every step until she went t sit n a bench utside and left when her ride arrived. Within minutes, a yung man in a hdie (连帽衫) apprached the bench, put smething in hispcket, and walked ff. Gilleece psted a clip n the bar’s Facebk page. “I didn’t want t criticize him,” he said. “I just asked if anybdy knew wh the guy was.” Within hurs, Gilleece gt a text message frm 17-year-ld Rivers Prather,wh admitted taking the wallet and said he’d dne it because he hadn’t eaten in tw days. Thinking the ring was fake, he threw the wallet int the cean and tk the mney t buy a sandwich.
Gilleece, unsure whether he believed Prather, tld the teenager t meet him at the dcks(码头).There, they gt t talking, and Prather said that he wasn’t getting alng with his family and had been living in the wds fr a week. Gilleece, a father ftw, tk stck f(审视) Prather― his small bdy, his flushing(涨得通红的) cheeks一andsaw him fr what he was: mre f a kid than a criminal.
Hwever,the plice were already n the case and because f the missing ring, Prather culd be facing severe charges. Gilleece decided t help. He emplyed tw lcal divers t search the waters where Prather had thrwn the wallet. Meanwhile, the plice wanted Gilleece t bring the teen dwn t the statin. Instead, Gilleece called the plice and tld them, “He’s ging t be at the dcks with me tmrrw.”
注意：1. 续写词数应为150词左右；
2. 请按如下格式在相应位置作答。
Paragraph1:
A crwd had gathered t watch the tw divers search in the strng current.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph2:
But it wasn’t ver fr Gilleece. ___________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
单句训练
一群人聚集在一起，观看这两名潜水员在湍急的水流中搜寻。

一个多小时过去了，没有任何戒指的迹象。

Gilleece开始担心，尤其是当警察开始审问Prather，并试图让他承认保留了戒指时。

每过一分钟，他都增加了他逮捕那个年轻人的机会。

然后，一个潜水员跳了出来。

他手里拿着钱包，里面是戒指。

人群中爆发出了欢呼声。就连侦探也很高兴。

但吉里斯的一切还没有结束。

他一直为Prather睡在寒冷的树林里而感到烦恼。

Gilleece知道他的家足够大，可以给Prather一个地方住一段时间。

他告诉这个少年，他可以和家人呆在一起，直到那个男孩再次站起来。

他还给了这个孩子一份在这个酒吧工作的工作。

“大多数人都会把这段录像（监控录像）交给警方，但他选择相信我并帮助我。

我会像他预期的那样，努力努力成为一个好人，”Prather在一次采访中说。

参考答案
题型分析：这篇读后续写属于人性光芒类的读后续写，故事里词汇和人物关系稍有难度，续写部分是有关Gilleece如何雇人将戒指找到并且帮这个青春期少年解围，对尚无多少人生经历的学生来说，难度不小。
一、准确理解材料，理清人物事件
1. 浅层信息理解
首先审题：体裁是记叙文；人称是第一、三人称；主体时态是一般过去时；记叙文“六要素”wh（Gilleece，A newly married wman, 17-year-ld Rivers Prather ，the plice）、when（tmrrw）、where（at the beach）、what（Gilleece tried t help the wman find her wedding ring which was stlen and thrwn int the cean. ）、why（Gilleece didn’t like the idea that a theft culd have happened at his place.）
2. 整合本篇的情节和情感线索：
海滩酒吧的老板Gilleece接到顾客的投诉，一位女士的钱包被偷，急于寻回放在钱包里的订婚戒指。Gilleece查了酒吧的监控，找到了线索，并将视频片段传到网上，想通过网络的力量找到拿走钱包的人。几小时后，一个叫Rivers Prather的17岁少年主动联系了他。两人见面后，Prather讲述了拿走钱包的缘由，作为两个孩子的父亲，Gilleece决定不追究其责任。但警察正在跟踪此案，Prather有可能面临严重的指控。Gilleece决定帮助这个少年，他请了两个潜水员去Prather扔钱包的地方搜寻。同时，警察要求Gilleece将Prather带去警察局。但是，Gilleece却告诉他们Gilleece第二天会和他一起去码头。
二、分析续写段首，确定续写方向
①由第一段首句内容A crwd had gathered t watch the tw divers search in the strng current（人们早已聚集过来看着两个潜水员在大浪中搜寻。）可知，第一段可描写潜水员搜寻钱包的过程。设问如下：
1. Hw did the divers search fr the wallet?
2. What did Gilleece, Prather and the plice d?
3. Hw did each f them feel?
4. Did they fund the wallet?
根据第二段首句 But it wasn’ t ver fr Gilleece.（但是这件事情对Gilleece来说还没有结束。）虽然提示语简短，但是Gilleece在前文中所表现出的商量和想要帮助这个少年的决心，让学生不难猜出，他想要继续帮助Prather。因为Gilleece和Prather是这个故事的主角，不能突然消失。设问如下：
5. What did he want t d?
6. What happened t Prather?
7. What des the stry intend t tell readers?
三、借助文本资源，创设续写情节
根据六要素和自己的想象，借助文本资源，创设续写两段故事的情节。
[开端] 人们围观潜水员找钱包。[故事发展]找的过程——Gilleece焦急——警察开始盘问。[高潮] 钱包被找到——Gilleece想要继续帮助Prather——Prather不再流离失所。[结局]Prather痛改前非——感悟。
单句训练
A crwd had gathered t watch the tw divers search in the strng current.
Mre than an hur passed, with n sign f the ring.
Gilleece grew wrried, especially when the plice began questining Prather and trying t get him t admit t keeping the ring.
Each passing minute increased the chances that he wuld arrest the yung man.
Then a diver ppped up.
In his hand was the wallet, and inside was the ring.
Cheers erupted frm the crwd. Even the detective was happy.
But it wasn’ t ver fr Gilleece.
He’d been trubled abut Prather sleeping in the cld wds.
Gilleece knew his hme was big enugh t give Prather a place t live fr a while.
He tld the teen he culd stay with his family until the by gt n his feet again.
He als gave the kid a jb a this bar.
“Mst peple wuld have given the ftage(监控录像) t plice, but he chse t believe me and help me.
I’ll wrk hard t becme a gd guy, just as he expected,” Prather said in an interview.
佳作展现
A crwd had gathered t watch the tw divers search in the strng current.Mre than an hur passed, with n sign f the ring. Gilleece grew wrried, especially when the plice began questining Prather and trying t get him t admit t keeping the ring. Each passing minute increased the chances that he wuld arrest the yung man. Then a diver ppped up. In his hand was the wallet, and inside was the ring. Cheers erupted frm the crwd. Even the detective was happy.
But it wasn’ t ver fr Gilleece. He’d been trubled abut Prather sleeping in the cld wds. Gilleece knew his hme was big enugh t give Prather a place t live fr a while. He tld the teen he culd stay with his family until the by gt n his feet again. He als gave the kid a jb a this bar. “Mst peple wuld have given the ftage(监控录像) t plice, but he chse t believe me and help me. I’ll wrk hard t becme a gd guy, just as he expected,” Prather said in an interview.