备考2024届高考英语一轮复习第二部分读后续写专题二热考话题素材3师生关系

这是一份备考2024届高考英语一轮复习第二部分读后续写专题二热考话题素材3师生关系，共3页。

[2023新高考Ⅰ]When I was in middle schl， my scial studies teacher asked me t enter a writing cntest. I said n withut thinking. I did nt lve writing. My family came frm Brazil， s English was nly my secnd language. Writing was s difficult and painful fr me that my teacher had allwed me t present my paper n the sinking f the Titanic by acting ut a play， where I played all the parts. N ne laughed harder than he did.
S， why did he suddenly frce me t d smething at which I was sure t fail？ His reply： "Because I lve yur stries. If yu’re willing t apply yurself， I think yu have a gd sht at this." Encuraged by his wrds， I agreed t give it a try.
I chse Paul Revere’s hrse as my subject. Paul Revere was a silversmith （银匠） in Bstn wh rde a hrse at night n April 18， 1775 t Lexingtn t warn peple that British sldiers were cming. My stry wuld cme straight frm the hrse’s muth. Nt a brilliant idea， but funny； and unlikely t be anyne else’s chice.
What did the hrse think， as he sped thrugh the night？ Did he get tired？ Have dubts？ Did he want t quit？ I sympathized immediately. I gt tired. I had dubts. I wanted t quit. But， like Revere’s hrse， I kept ging. I wrked hard. I checked my spelling. I asked my lder sister t crrect my grammar. I checked ut a half-dzen bks n Paul Revere frm the library. I even read a few f them.
When I handed in the essay t my teacher， he read it， laughed ut lud， and said， "Great. Nw， write it again." I wrte it again， and again and again. When I finally finished it， the thught f winning had given way t the enjyment f writing. If I didn’t win， I wuldn’t care.
A few weeks later， when I almst frgt the cntest， there came the news.
I went t my teacher’s ffice after the award presentatin.
1.I felt excited.
①用短语be verwhelmed with excitement and disbelief替换feel excited，体现用词的丰富性。
I was verwhelmed with excitement and disbelief.
②用结构改写句①，引出"我"听到消息后激动的身体表现。
I was s verwhelmed with excitement and disbelief that my heart was punding quickly.
③用倒装结构改写句②，更加凸显"我"得知获奖时的激动心情。
S verwhelmed with excitement and disbelief was I that my heart was punding quickly.
2.I felt excited and prud when I accepted the prize.
①用现在分词短语作状语改写句子并增加副词修饰，丰富句式结构。
Feeling extremely excited and prud，I accepted the prize.
②为句①增加"我"的获奖感悟，照应前文"我"写作时的坚持和努力，使前后文衔接更紧密。
Feeling extremely excited and prud，I accepted the prize，a symbl and recgnitin f my past perseverance and hard wrk.
3.He cngratulated me， and I expressed my thanks t him.
①用对话形式展现"我"与老师的互动，使故事情节发展更加自然、顺畅。
"Cngratulatins！I knew yu wuld win，"he said. "Thank yu fr yur encuragement."
②为句①中老师对"我"的获奖感到开心增加肢体动作描写；并用虚拟语气表达"我"对老师的感激之情。
"Cngratulatins！ I knew yu wuld win，"he said，hugging me tightly. "Thank yu. I wuldn’t be what I am tday withut yur encuragement."
③为句②中"我"对老师的感激之情增加心理细节描写，使我对老师的感激跃然纸上，更具有画面感。
"Cngratulatins！ I knew yu wuld win，"he said， hugging me tightly. "Thank yu. I wuldn’t be what I am tday withut yur encuragement." A sense f gratitude welled up frm the bttm f my heart.
Afewweekslater，whenIalmstfrgtthecntest，therecamethenews. I wn first place！S verwhelmed with excitement and disbelief（如此兴奋和难以置信） was I that my heart was punding quickly. Finally came the big day！When my name was annunced， I walked nt the stage against wild cheers and thunderus applause（在热烈的欢呼声和雷鸣般的掌声中）. Feeling extremely excited and prud， I accepted the prize， a symbl and recgnitin f my past perseverance and hard wrk. Thinking abut this， I shed tears f gratitude（流下感激的泪水）， as there was ne special persn wh meant a lt t me.
Iwenttmyteacher’sfficeaftertheawardpresentatin. "Cngratulatins！ I knew yu wuld win，" he said， hugging me tightly. "Thank yu. I wuldn’t be what I am tday withut yur encuragement." A sense f gratitude welled up frm the bttm f my heart（感激之情从我的心底涌出）. Patting my shulder， he smiled， "It is yur effrts that cunt mst."Frm then n， I began t bury myself in English writing. With my teacher’s inspiratin， I determined t keep n challenging myself and embrace a better me.人物
主要人物"I"：从文中描述的"said n withut thinking" "difficult and painful fr me" "I agreed t give it a try" "wanted t kept my my a few f them" "wrte it again， and again and again"可以看出，"我"起初缺乏自信，但随后变得努力勤奋、信念坚定。
次要人物my scial studies teacher：从文中描述的"N ne laughed harder than he did" "I lve yur have a gd sht at this" "laughed ut lud， and said，‘Great. Nw， write it again.’"可知，"我"的社会科学老师乐观开朗，关心、理解、支持、鼓励学生。为续写第二段"我"来到老师办公室表达对老师的感激之情奠定了基础。
情节及
情感线
社会科学老师要"我"参加写作比赛（"我"很抗拒，直接拒绝）→他鼓励"我"参加比赛（"我"受到鼓舞，决定试试）→"我"选定主题开始写作（纠结、自我怀疑，但还是继续坚持）→"我"一遍遍修改、润色文章（已经不在意能否得奖）
主题
通过"我"前后对待写作的态度的强烈反差，体现了要持之以恒地努力，克服困难并从中获得乐趣和成长的主题；同时根据续写第二段提示语可知，本文也体现了良师益友这一主题，赞美了老师对学生润物细无声的引导和鼓励。
续写
第一段
衔接本段首句的the news，接下来应该是得到获奖的消息、听到消息后"我"的反应；衔接第二段首句，本段还应该讲到颁奖典礼上发生的事情，尾句落脚点在回想老师对自己的帮助，与第二段首句完美连贯起来。本段重点描写消息引发的一系列心理活动和动作。
续写
第二段
衔接本段首句，接下来应该是老师得知"我"获奖后的反应、"我"对老师的回应；尾句升华主题：个人感悟，这件事对"我"的深远影响。本段重点描写"我"到办公室后师生间的互动，可通过对话、动作、心理描写等刻画细节。