(新高考)高考英语二轮复习课时精炼考向45 概要写作之三步优化语言表达(2份打包，解析版+原卷版)

考向45 概要写作之三步优化语言表达

概要写作语言优化三步走

概要写作的评分原则之一是“对各要点表达的独立性情况”，即要用自己的语言表述原文要点，不能照抄原文的语句。同时各要点之间应注意利用恰当的过渡衔接词汇，使所写的句子连贯流畅。

第一步：替换单词/短语

在找出文中的要点后，利用替换单词、短语等方法来增强语言表达的独立性。

①利用同义词(短语)或近义词(短语)代替原文单词或短语。

②将原文动词短语转换为介词短语、名词短语替换成动词短语、动词转换为名词、形容词转换为副词等。

第二步：合理地调整句式

除了用替换单词、短语等方式增强语言表达的独立性外，还可以采用灵活调整句式的方式达到语气目标。

(1)长变短：压缩长的句子和词组，使其变得短小精悍，如两个简单句整合为一个并列句或主从复合句；复合句或并列句简化为简单句、从句简化为介词短语或者分词短语等。

(2)主动变被动：主动句变为被动句式，更生动更符合英语表达。

(3)善用定语从句、名词性从句、状语从句、倒装句、强调句、省略句等丰富的句型结构等。

第三步：使用恰当的过渡衔接

概要写作的评分标准之一是上下文的连贯性，要求你有效运用一定的衔接手段。

3种使上下文连贯的衔接手段

①词汇衔接：运用原词、近义词或反义词、上下义词等的复现。

②逻辑衔接：利用表逻辑关系的过渡词衔接上下文，如besides, in addition, therefore等，在选用过渡衔接词时，应考虑前后句子之间的内在逻辑关系。

③语法衔接：常见的语法衔接有替代和省略。

替代：用代词替代前面的名词(短语)和句子，用助动词代替前面的动词(短语)。

省略：在语境表达清晰的情况下，为了表达简洁，省略上文或下文的某个词句。

【策略演示】

阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

(2019年6月，浙江高考)Parents everywhere praise their kids. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids, says, “We've gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when .” By giving kids a lot of praise, parents think they're building their children's confidence, when, in fact, it may be just the opposite.  and, when given in a way that's insincere, make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear  of not being able to stay on top where their parents' praise has put them.

Still, don't go too far in the other direction.  . Kids will feel like   and, as a result, may see no point in trying hard for their accomplishments.

So what is the right amount of praise? Experts say that  . If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome, you can  . “We should especially recognize our children's efforts to push themselves and work hard to achieve a goal，” says Donahue, author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters. “One thing to remember is that it's the process not the end product that .”

Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if he's out there every day and playing hard, you should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses.   can also mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard, cook dinner, or finish a book report. But whatever it is, praise should be given on a case­by­case basis and be proportionate .

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【思路点拨】

第1步　读懂原文，明确篇章结构

本文是议论文，提出当前父母对孩子进行过度赞扬和不表扬是同样有害的，正确的做法是找到其闪光点进行适度的表扬，以培养其自信乐观的心态。文章四个自然段，就是4个意义段，对应4个要点。

第一段：指出过度表扬不利于孩子的成长。

第二段：对孩子的表扬不足同样有害。

第三段：对孩子的表扬要恰当而且适时。

第四段：关注孩子的努力，不必太过关注结果。

第2 步　去次留精，提炼关键信息

本文关键信息已在文中用画线和阴影形式体现， 其中画线词为与主题句相关的关键词，其他则为次要信息。

第3步　归纳要点，合理转换表达

采用同义转述、句式转换等方法灵活准确归纳要点，如：

①第一段主题句可归纳为要点1：该要点中的“the opposite”可利用同义表达改为contrary to；“stay on top where their parents' praise has put them”(指的是父母对孩子过度表扬而设定的目标)可转换为 unrealistic goals。

②第二段主题句可归纳为要点2：该要点中的“Not giving enough praise”可转换为inadequate praise; “they're not good enough or that you don't care”可转换为they are not doing well or they are ignored。

第4步　句式多样，注意过渡衔接

句式要多样，可利用非谓语动词、定语从句和名词性从句，归纳整合要点。

要点1指出过度表扬不利于孩子的成长，而要点2说明对孩子的表扬不足同样有害，由此前两个要点为转折关系，可利用however衔接；第3个要点说明要给予恰当适时的表扬，由此可知该要点与前两个要点是因果关系可利用therefore衔接；第3个要点中的恰当适时的表扬与第4个要点中的表扬努力为并列关系， 可利用表“并列，顺承”的过渡衔接词汇，如besides, additionally等。

【参考范文】

Contrary to the past, some parents are likely to overpraise their kids, making them feel given unrealistic goals. (要点1) ， others give their kids inadequate praise, which gives them a false idea that they are not doing well or they are ignored. (要点2) ， praising them properly and punctually is definitely favorable. (要点3) ， to do so parents are advised to focus on their kids' effort instead of the result. (要点4)

【检测训练】

1. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

Eighty-five percent of the jobs that today's students will do in 2030 don't exist yet,the Institute for the Future has predicted.That might seem like a high number to reach in only 10 years.But think about the non-mainstream careers that did not exist just a handful of years ago: social media manager,app developer and cloud computing engineer,etc.What role should colleges and universities play in preparing students for a workplace that is constantly changing? Educational institutions are trying to answer that question."We hope they will not only be prepared for whatever the job market looks like in 10,20 or 50 years but be the ones shaping it," said Jenn Stringer,professor at the University of Californian,Berkeley.Here are some of the approaches they're taking.

Some experts argue that the four-year learning model needs to be rethought in a big way. They say education can no longer be seen as something that stops when a person graduates from college.If students could take a year or two off school,get a job,and then return to school a few years later,the education system would offer true life-long learning and better adapt to changing technology.

Fewer employers are willing to train people on the job than the employers 50 years ago, largely as part of an effort to cut costs.To fill the job skills gap,some courses are offered as an add-on to a student's main degree.For example,the courses may include data analysis,web design and digital marketing.The goal is to offer students,a degree aside,some advantages when they seek jobs or promotions in the future.

 Other institutions are trying to imitate the workplace within the traditional classroom. Several colleges have partnered with private companies,such as the software company Adobe, to integrate their products into the classroom.Professors at schools who partner with the company are encouraged to use the product for assignments.The idea is that students learn how to create a project that can be used in the real world and the"soft skills"such as teamwork and creativity.

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2. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

These days, football is one of the most popular sports in the world. Given that Neil Armstrong wanted to take a football to the Moon, we could even say that it is also the most popular sport out of this world! The history of the game goes back over two thousand years to Ancient China. It was then known as cuju(kick ball), a game using a ball of animal skins with hair inside. Goals were hung in the air. Football as we know it today started in Great Britain, where the game was given new rules.

That football is such a simple game to play is perhaps the basis of its popularity. It is also a game that is very cheap to play. You don't need expensive equipment; even the ball doesn't have to cost much money. All over the world you can see kids playing to their hearts 'content with a ball made of plastic bags; just like Pele did when he was a boy.

Another factor behind football's global popularity is the creativity and excitement on the field. It is fun enough to attract millions of people. You do not have to be a fan to recognize the skill of professional player-how they use their bodies to pass, score and defend can be amazing to see-or to feel the excitement of a game ending with a surprising twist.

What's more, football has become one of the best ways for people to communicate: it does not require words, but everyone understands it. It breaks down walls and brings people together on and off the field. Take, for example, the famous football game on Christmas Day 1914. World War I had broken out months before, but British and German soldiers put down their guns and played football together-one moment of peace to remember during years of conflict.

“Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, ...... “said Bill Shankly, the famous footballer and manager. “I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” This might sound funny, but one only has to think about the Earth to realize that our planet is shaped like a football.

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3. 阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

It was once common to regard Britain as a society with class distinction. Each class had unique characteristics. In recent years, many writers have begun to speak of the “decline of class” and “classless society” in Britain. And in modern day consumer society everyone is considered to be middle class.

But pronouncing the death of class is too early. A recent wide-ranging study of public opinion found 90 percent of people still placing themselves in a particular class; 73 percent agreed that class was still a vital part of British society; and 52 percent thought there were still sharp class differences. Thus, class may not be culturally and politically obvious, yet it remains an important part of British society. Britain seems to have a love of classes.

One unchanging aspect of a British person's class position is accent. The words a person speaks show her or his class. A study of British accents during the 1970s found that a voice sounding like a BBC newsreader was viewed as the most attractive voice. Most people said this accent sounded “educated” and “soft”. The accents placed at the bottom in this study, on the other hand, were regional (地区的) city accents. These accents were seen as “common” and “ugly”. However, a similar study of British accents in the US turned these results upside down and placed some regional accents as the most attractive and BBC English as the least. This suggests that British attitudes towards accent have deep roots and are based on class prejudice.

In recent years, however, young upper middle-class people in London, have begun to adopt some regional accents, in order to hide their class origins. This is an indication of class becoming unnoticed. However, the 1995 pop song “Common People” puts forward the view that though a middle-class person may “want to live like common people” they can never appreciate the reality of a working-class life.

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4. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇 60 词左右的内容概要。

With the development of the computer, virtual reality ( 虚 拟 现 实 ) steps in our life. If something is virtual, then it is created by computer technology and appears as if it were real.VR is a computer system with a special headset(耳机). When you put on the headset, you will look at two tiny television screens. They are so close to your eyes as if you see just one picture and you will believe that you have entered a different world. In many systems, you also wear special gloves. With the gloves you can reach out and touch things in the unreal world.

The first VR games, which have already been sold around the world,enable you to drive a sports car,fly a plane, or fight an enemy.In the future, it may be difficult to tell the virtual world of the games from the real world outside. However, VR is not just for entertainment. One day, delighted  children  will  be  able  to  learn  history  by  visiting  the  pyramids  of  Egypt.  In addition,businesses will be able to use VR for many tasks. Pilot will be able to practise flying virtual planes before they go into the air. VR can help us improve the world in hundreds of ways.

However, some people have warned that there could be dangers. It might be dangerous if we do something wrong, or if people do not want to return to reality because it is safer than real life. Besides, we will forget how to live and work with real people.

There will be some problems with VR, as it is new for us. However,one thing is for sure: VR is here to stay.Get ready to step into another world!

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5. 阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

Parents everywhere praise their kids. Jenn Berman, author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids, says, “We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.” By giving kids a lot of praise, parents think they’re building their children’s confidence, when, in fact, it may be just the opposite. Too much praise can backfire and, when given in a way that’s insincere, make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.

Still, don’t go too far in the other direction. Not giving enough praise can be just as damaging as giving too much. Kids will feel like they’re not good enough or that you don’t care and, as a result, may see no point in trying hard for their accomplishments.

So what is the right amount of praise? Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity. If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome, you can give it as often as your child does something that deserves a verbal reward. “We should especially recognize our children’s efforts to push themselves and work hard to achieve a goal,” says Donahue, author of Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters. “One thing to remember is that it’s the process not the end product that matters.”

Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if he’s out there every day and playing hard, you should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses. Praising the effort and not the outcome can also mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard, cook dinner, or finish a book report. But whatever it is, praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate(相称的) to the amount of effort your child has put into it.

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