技巧13 如何描述外貌-高一英语读后续写基础技巧与整体演练
展开外貌描写必备技巧
一、工笔细描法
所谓工笔细描,就是讲究文笔工整,注重人物细部的详细刻画和细致描写,是国画方法在文学作品中的巧妙借用,也是人们在刻画人物时常用的一种方法。工笔细描的显著特点,是讲究人物微观的具体展示。
工笔细描法的具体实施,往往从人物的整体面貌上用墨,既写面部,又及全身,给人以整体的印象。这种描写,多用于比较陌生的人物和主要人物,只有这样,才能让读者了解并熟悉所写的人物,才能突出主要人物的性格特征。
二、粗笔勾勒法
所谓粗笔勾勒,原是一种绘画手法,近于速写,用在文学作品中,就是采用简单线条,粗略地把人物的主要特点,迅速地几笔描写出来。这种方法的特点,正好与“工笔细描法”相对,用语简略,运墨便利,几笔就勾勒出人物形象。如果是反面人物,又近于漫画,常用夸张手法。这种方法,多采用大手笔式的宏观描写,笔下的人物形象,常给人以粗线条、大轮廓、总特征的印象,至于人物肖像的细部内容,一般不作展示,即使有,也是点到为止,见好即收。
运用粗笔勾勒法描写人物外貌,最大的优点就是简省笔墨,给人以总体形象。运用时,要注意两点:一是粗笔勾勒不等于描写模糊,不是隔着纱巾看人,给人的印象仍然是清晰的,鲜明的,实实在在的;二是粗笔勾勒虽具零散性,但要零而不碎,散而不乱,要有合理的顺序。
三、特征显示法
所谓特征显示法,就是在描写人物的外貌时,抓住所写的人物区别于其他人物特点的征象、标志,进行具体刻画,让其显示出来,以突出这个人物的这个特征,以至一提到某个特征,就会使人想到某个人物,是人物外貌描写最有效、给人印象最深刻的一种技巧。
运用特征显示法,关键是抓住人物的特征.选择特征的主要依据,就是这个人物最显眼而又与众不同的闪光点。特征的部位要因人而易,就初中课文而言,人物特征多体现在脸部,这是因为,人们写肖像一般都把主要笔墨用在脸上。特征显示法的运用虽然很简单,一般只需一句话完成,但因为这句话是外貌描写的关键和精华所在,所以这句话的出现位置常常在中间。前有引渡,后有总结,前有铺垫,后有延伸,使之在众多语言,众多外貌内容中熠熠生辉。这就要讲究整个外貌描写的和谐性,既不能一写人物,首句就是特征,这会显得突兀,也不能外貌描写结束了,还不见人物特征,不能抓住特征,人物形象也就毫无特色。打个比方,整个人物外貌描写是“画龙”,而特征显示则是“点睛”。没有“点睛”之笔,没有人物特征显示,外貌描写等于失败。
四、逐步显现法
所谓逐步显现,就是通过作者或文中人物(多为“我”)的观察,来表现所写人物的外貌特征。具体运用有两种情况,一是被写者由远而近地向观察者走来,二是观察者由远而近地向被写者走去,而又以后者为多,因为观察者是主体,被写者是客体。通过距离远近的不同,来描写同一个时间里同一个人物略有差异的外貌,能充分表现出这个人物丰富的形象特征。
逐步显现法的鲜明特点,一是运用的文字频率至少在两次以上,二是描写的外貌要呈现一定的梯度, 这个梯度要与观察者由远而近的距离移动同步发展,犹如推摄镜头,最后是特写形象。运用这种方法要注意两点, 一要防止简单重复,先写的要概括些,粗线条勾勒,宏观展示,用墨应简略;后写的要具体些,细致些,微观描摹,用语应详尽。二是几次所写的外貌要有所区别,先少后多,逐渐增加,重点特征每次都要写到,以加深人们的印象,如《一面》写鲁迅的三次外貌,都写了“瘦”。
五、虚实结合法
所谓虚实结合,就是在描写人物的外貌中,既有写实内容,又有虚的配合。写实,就是描写人物的现实外在特点,客观性比较强;写虚,就是通过一定的方式,来表现人物并不存在或联想中的外貌,主观性明显。虚以实为基础,没有实写,便无法虚现;实又往往需要虚来补充,来衬托.它们的共同目的就是通过虚实并呈,密切配合,来充实人物形象,丰富人物性格。
虚实结合法的运用,不外乎两种情况:一是通过观察者的心理作用,来感觉人物的形象特点,或夸大,或缩小,或褒赞,或贬损,外貌之中饱含着感情,读后给人以强烈的感染。二是通过人物的回忆,来再现人物的形象特点,实际上是写实的外貌在另一种情境下的重新出现。这种方法,一般要通过联想来实现,其目的,是表达思念之情,加深读者印象。
六、着色点染法
所谓着色点染,就是将不同的色彩涂抹于所写的人物,在文学作品中,就是通过写色词语来表现人物的鲜明特征。着色的主要依据,是人物的性格特点,如鲁迅笔下的“闰土”“孔乙已”,都是下层人物,但着色就有区别,闰土终日劳动,因而脸色“灰黄",孔乙已好逸恶劳,所以脸色“青白”,这就是他们的性格不同决定的。
人物着色的方法很多,既可以浓墨重彩,也可以轻描淡写;既可以多色搭配,也可以单色点染。总之要恰到好处,用色适度,自然成趣。着色点染法具体实施对象,不外乎三种情况:一是施色于衣着,即对人物的衣冠鞋袜用色,突出人物的穿衣变化和生活习惯,进而表现人物的内心世界和思想性格。二是着色于人体,即对人体的外露部位用色,突出人物的外部特征或变化,进而表现人物的内在特点,外露部分一般是指常露部分,最多用于着色的是头部,还有手、脚、腿、颈等,在特定的情况下,胸、背也可以外露,也可以着色点染。三是既着色于衣着,又着色于人体,二者同时具备,互相映衬,彼此关照,多方面地表现人物的性格特点。例如《潘虎》中对潘虎的外貌描写:“那大汉粗眉毛,大眼睛,满腮胡子,黑里透红的脸色,穿一身青布的普通对襟短装。”这里有两处颜色点染:一是脸色“黑里透红”,表明他健康、强悍、久经战阵,饱经风霜;二是短装“青"布,说明他穿着普通、简单、平常,而又有特色。通过这副外貌,不难看出,主人公分明是一个充满豪气、干练勇猛、粗犷豁达的农民英雄.
着色点染法的运用,要注意两点:一是讲究“点染”,与画龙点睛一般,几笔见神采,不可随意涂抹,搞得人物是"万紫千红“;二是讲究色调与人物整体外貌的和谐性,如潘虎,眉毛“粗",眼睛“大”,再配色“黑里透红”,就很吻合.
七、对比突现法
所谓对比突现法,就是通过某个人物今昔外貌的不同或两个以上(包括两个)人物彼此外貌差异的对比,来突出人物性格的变化和命运的发展,突出主要人物的形象特征的方法。
运用这种方法有两种情况。一是进行横向外貌对比,即通过两个或两个以上不同人物外貌的不同描写,来突出主要人物的特点。人物之间的关系是并列的,形成一定的形象跨度,以突现某个重要人物或主要人物的性格特征和精神品质。二是进行纵向外貌对比,即通过某一个人物过去与现在外貌的不同描写,来突出人物的性格变化和命运的发展。运用对比描写人物外貌应注意一点,就是要有重点.两次或两次以上的描写不能平分秋色、同等重要,要有所侧重.要把最能表现人物本质特点、最能反映主题的那个方面作为重点详写,其他略写.
八、服饰烘衬法
所谓服饰烘衬法,就是通过描写人物的衣着以及装饰,来烘托和陪衬人物的性格特点,是刻画人物的基本方法之一。一个人的服饰是其外表的东西,它与人物的性格特征,与人物的身世、处境、心态和思想有着密切的关系,什么样的人穿什么样的衣服,佩什么样的服饰,是有规可循,很有讲究的。客观生活如此,文学作品中描写人物外貌也应如此。
用服饰烘衬法描写人物外貌,要做到以下三点:一是要有一定的顺序.人们的服饰虽千变万化,但位置却大体相同.先写哪个后写哪个,要考虑周全,或从上到下,或由服到饰,要根据不同人物的不同服饰,来确定合理的顺序。这样,才能使读者对所写的人物有一个层次清晰的印象。二是要进行服饰比较.人是活动的变化的,在不同的时间不同的场合下,人们的服饰也会不同,服饰的不同又反映了人们的外貌不同和性格变化.写好这些服饰的变化,也就能表现出人物的变化。三是要有重点。服饰描写,不能从头至脚无一遗漏,那样,既易落入俗套,又显得繁杂,这就要抓住重点,突出重点。重点的确定要因人而易,最能表现人物 性格和本质特点的服饰一定要写,详写,反之,略写即可,甚至不写。用服饰烘衬法描写外貌,是为刻画人物性格、塑造人物形象服务的,运用时要有所选择,不能张冠李戴, 李服张穿。如老杨同志那二斤半重的“硬鞋”,绝不能穿到闰土的脚上,朱自清父亲的那件“黑布大马褂",也不能穿到中年闰土身上,要讲究服饰与人物身份和性格的一致性。
外貌描写必备词汇
1、脸型:
rund 圆的; thin 瘦的; lng 长的; square 方的.
2、头发:
(1) 发型:
straight 直的; curly 卷发的; pigtails 辫子; crew cut 平头; bald秃头的.
(2) 发色:
jet-black 乌黑的; fair 金色的; blnde 淡黄色的; glden 金黄色的; dyed 染色的; brunette 浅黑色的; musey 灰褐色的; chestnut 栗色的.
3、女性外表:
blnd 金发碧眼的;glamrus 性感有魅力的;slender 苗条的; well-shaped bdy 体形丰满的;plump 丰满肥胖的;elegant and pised 雍容华贵的;graceful 优美的; thin hair头发稀疏的; trendy时髦的; tanned 皮肤黝黑的、阳光肌肤的; natural-lking 长相一般的; pale 面色苍白的; dimple 有酒窝的; petite 瘦小的; wavy hair 卷毛的; val face 鹅蛋脸型的; up-turn nse 朝天鼻的.
4、男性外表:
bald 秃顶的; disheveled hair 头发凌乱的; bright eye 眼神明亮的; brad face 宽脸的; clean-shaven face 面庞清爽干净的; bny 瘦骨嶙峋的; muscular肌肉健美的; rbust 强壮的; chubby 肥壮敦实的; manly 男人味的; gentlemanly 有绅士风度的.
外貌描写句子示例
1.她圆圆的脸上有一双蓝色的眼睛,还有两个可爱的酒窝。
①On her rund face are a pair f blue eyes and lvely dimples. (倒装句型)
②She is a girl with a pair f blue eyes and lvely dimples n her rund face. (with引导的介宾结构作后置定语,补充说明人物信息)
2.李老师三十多岁,身材适中,常梳着马尾辫。
①Miss Li is in her thirties with a medium build and has her hair in a pnytail. (由and连接的并列句;with短语用作状语,表示伴随状态)
②Miss Li is a mediumsized wman in her thirties wh ften wears/ties her hair in a pnytail. (定语从句补充介绍人物特征)
③Miss Li, in her thirties, is f medium size, and ften has her hair tied in a pnytail. (“be f + adj. + n.”结构表示人或物具有某种特征。常用的名词有:size, height, weight, build, age, shape等)
1.阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文.
After six hurs f fishing, Jhn Franklin and his sister Jane were ready t call it a day. It was 7 pm. The summer sun was setting, and the fishes had stpped biting. But Jane’s 12-year-ld sn Cnrad was having s much fun that he begged “Let’s d just ne mre run,” Since the mild weather was hlding ut, why nt? Jhn turned the bat arund and headed back.
Yet, yu never knew. They hadn’t even cast their lines when the wind picked up suddenly. Rugh waves began battling against the little bat. “Check yur life jackets and hld the bat!” Jhn shuted, As Jane and her sn were n the pint f screaming, tw big waves rlled ver, ne right after the ther. Within a few secnds, the bat tipped(倾斜). Backward and turned ver, thrwing three f them int the water.
Out f the wrst, the luckiest thing was that they had life jackets n and the bat didn’t sink immediately. Everyne grabbed nt it. “Let’s get back in the bat, Mmmy,” Cnrad cried, trembling with fear.
“Dn’t panic. Peple knw we’re ut here,” Jane cmfrted him. “They’ll send help sn.”
Treading(踩) the water, the adults exchanged wrried lks. They were flating in the middle f nwhere. “I knew we were in a tight spt,” said Jhn, a third-generatin cmmercial fisherman wh, like Jane, had been raised n the bay.
When a strng wind blew thrugh abut half an hur with n sign f dying dwn, they had t make sme decisins. It had been a perfect July day, with the water at a temperate 20 degrees centigrade, but everyne was cld by 9 pm.
If they weren’t rescued sn, they might nt survive the night, Jhn recgnized, but the clsest shreline was abut three miles away, starred by nly a few glwing huse lights.
注意: 1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答.
Lking at the lights in the distance, Jhn asked his sister in a lw vice, “Shuld I d it?”
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Abut three hurs later, Jhn reached the shreline and saw the huse in lights.
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2.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was time fr graduates t hunt fr jbs. The majrity f them didn’t have wrking experience fr they had spent mst f their time at schl studying academic subjects. It was nt until they graduated frm cllege that they realized it was a challenge fr them t land jbs.
Jimmy, ne f these jb hunters, was a yung academically excellent persn. One day, after making gd preparatins, he went t apply fr a managerial psitin in a big cmpany. In spite f fierce cmpetitin, he managed t pass the first interview. What a lucky dg! Jimmy was infrmed t cme fr the next rund in a few days — the last interview fr the cmpany t make the final decisin.
The big day finally came. He dressed neatly, the grey tie matching perfectly the decent suit. Bld rushing t his face and heart punding heavily, he tried t calm dwn, and then tk a few deep breaths. It was his turn.
The interviewer, an elegant lady, discvered frm the CV that the yuth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, frm the secndary schl until the pstgraduate research. After several runds f questins related t the psitin, she asked, “Have yu ever dne any part-time jbs?” “Nne.” After a while, the interviewer asked wh paid fr Jimmy’s schl fees. The yuth answered in a lw vice, “My father passed away when I was ne year ld, s it was my mther wh paid fr all my schl fees.”
She cntinued, “What did yur mther d?” “My mther wrked as a clthes cleaner.” The lady requested the yuth t shw his hands. The yuth shwed a pair f hands that were smth and perfect.
The interviewer paused fr a secnd, leaning against the chair, “Have yu ever helped yur mther wash the clthes befre?” Ashamed, Jimmy replied, “Never. My mther always wanted me t study and read mre bks. Furthermre, my mther can wash clthes faster than me.” She ndded, adding, “I have a request. When yu g back tday, g and clean yur mther’s hands, and then see me back here tmrrw mrning.”
注意:
1.续写的词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡相应位置作答。
Back hme, Jimmy requested his mther t let him clean her hands.
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The next mrning, Jimmy went t the interviewer’s ffice.
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3.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
When I mved t Bstn frm the less traffic-filled Midwest, all I heard was, “Bstn drivers are terrible. Yu must be careful n the rads!”I lived in Bstn fr fur years while in cllege. But I didn’t need a car then, because Bstn’s subways and buses culd take me anywhere I needed t g. When I graduated, mved t the suburbs and gt a jb, I had t buy a car. I began t share the rads with the crazy drivers I’d heard abut with much anxiety.
I fund the stries were all true! I always get cut ff and shuted at. Very seldm am I actually ding smething wrng. I can’t cunt the number f times I’ve almst been in an accident because peple refuse t give way t me when I have the right f way. Almst t late, I realize I have t turn if I want my car t stay untuched. And I’ve nly been driving here fr six mnths!
I learned hw t drive in a friendlier envirnment, s I’ve always been in the habit f letting peple g in frnt f me if they need t turn r pull ut. Hwever, peple here are hardly thughtful enugh t help ther drivers that way. They usually cut right away in frnt f me withut even shwing thanks.
In my hme envirnment, the thank-yu wave is standard driving behaviur t shw pliteness. Having nthing in return fr my kindness in Bstn had been s discuraging that I was almst ready t give up trying t be nice. I thught I’d just mve alng very quickly with the rest f the cars, withut a thught fr anyne else.
Then ne day n my way hme frm wrk I was stuck in the heavy traffic with s many cars almst tuching each ther. And I nticed a yung man was als trapped in the next driveway three r fur cars ahead f mine.
注意
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
As I mved slwly alng the rad, I felt tired and hungry.
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The yung guy gave me a huge thank-yu wave right away.
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4.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
I made it all the way t fifth grade befre anyne (except me) realized that I culdn’t see twenty feet in frnt f me. Our schl had visin screenings (视力普查) every year, but smehw I had managed t fake gd visin and pass the tests.
But then in the fifth grade, I failed. It was my turn t g int the screening rm, and I nervusly tk my seat in frnt f the testing machine. The nurse tld me t lk int the little black machine and tell her which directin the letter E’s legs were pinting. Barely able t make ut the black spt f an E, I made a guess: “Right, left, left, up, dwn, up, left, right”. I lked up at her.
She studied my face fr a mment. Then she said, “Culd yu repeat that?”
I panicked. I’d never been asked t repeat it. And I hadn’t memrized the guess I’d just made up. I was trapped. S, I lked int the machine again and made up anther sequence f guesses. I glanced ver at the nurse, wh was leaning frward with a frwn n her face.
“Yu have n idea which way they’re facing, d yu?” she asked.
“Nt really,” I cnfessed.
“Can yu even see the E at all?” she asked.
“Srt f.. n,” I admitted.
“Then why didn’t yu just say s?” she demanded.
I didn’t respnd. I thught the answer was bvius. Glasses in the fifth grade were a scial death sentence. I wuld becme a jke in my class.
The nurse sent me hme with a nte fr my mther that said I needed t visit the eye dctr because I’d failed the visin test. The trip hme tday was very slw.
My mther (wh wears glasses) said it wuld all be just fine. It wuldn’t hurt a bit, she said. But I wasn’t wrried abut pain—I was wrried abut lking like Super Geek (怪人).
注意:
1.续写词数应为150词左右;
2.请在答题卡相应位置作答。
The next day, my mther dragged me t the eye dctr’s ffice.
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But then Mnday mrning came, and I had t face what I fear: the kids in my classrm.
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5.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Cats are a mysterius kind f animal-there is mre passing in their minds than we knw f. I can’t agree mre with this because f my recent experience.
It was the Sunday befre Labr Day, and I was tired after spending the day at a picnic in a relative’s garden. I lked ut f the windw befre climbing nt bed. Stars filled the night sky, and crickets(蟋蟀) gently sang in the darkness. All seemed right with the wrld.
My big, ld black-and-white cat, Ore, lay n the ft f my bed where he slept every night, keeping my feet warm. I climbed nt bed and immediately fell int a deep sleep.
I had just fallen asleep when Ore wke me up by walking ver my stmach. I lked at the bedside clck: 3:10 am. I had n idea why Ore was trubling me. He’d never dne that befre unless I verslept in the mrning, but that usually happened at 8:00 am, nt in the middle f the night.
I pushed Ore ff me, rlled ver and pulled the blanket (毯子) ver my head. But Ore didn’t stp. He stepped n my head and began t make nises ludly.
“Ore,”I said. “G back t sleep.”
But Ore wuldn’t stp. He kept walking n my stmach and legs, cntinuing t truble me. Suddenly, there was a crash f thunder (雷), and I sat up n the bed and lked ut f the windw. Lightning filled the sky. Strng winds blew thrugh the windw. Rain started t cme dwn hard, making it almst impssible t see the trees in the yard. Sn the wind was picking up and the branches f the trees were mving vilently(强烈地).A terrible strm had started.
Seeing the sight, I was struck with hrrr. Thinking that it was nt safe t stay in the huse, I climbed ut f bed, put n my clthes, and held Ore in my arms.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式作答。
We headed fr the basement (地下室).
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I discvered that my huse had been damaged (损)by a fallen tree.
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参考答案
1.
Lking at the lights in the distance, Jhn asked his sister in a lw vice, “Shuld I d it?” “Yeah, d it. We will take care f urselves here.” Jane encuraged. Pushing away frm the bat, Jhn fcused n alternating swim strked as his muscles started t burn sn. Strng tides pushed him up the shreline, and then pulled him in the ppsite directin. Many times Jhn dubted whether it was a right chice. What if he failed halfway? But he cntinued, meters after meters, driven by the image f his family drifting helplessly back at the bat.
Abut three hurs later, Jhn reached the shreline and saw the huse in lights. Exhausted, he pulled himself ut f water, staggered alng and called fr help. Hearing Jhn’s desperate cries, peple in the cttage rushed ut immediately. Realizing what had happened, they swung int actin. Sn, a search party jumped int a bat, heading fr Jane and the by. Luckily, they were pulled frm the bay in time, miraculusly unharmed. Jane knew it was thanks t her brther. “He’s my her,” she said. “He always has been.”
【写作指导】本文以Jhn一家人出海捕鱼为线索,讲述了他们一家人在结束捕鱼后,小儿子Cnrad乞求再跑一次海。因为天气很好,因此Jhn便将船掉头往回走。但在这时,却刮起来大风,大浪将船掀翻,他们一家人都掉进了水里。在经过了很长时间后,他们都没获救。因此Jhn只能努力地游向岸边,在游了大约三个小时候,Jhn终于游到了岸边。他精疲力尽地从水里爬出来,跑着呼救。最后海边屋里的人听到了他的呼救声,及时地将他们一家人从海里救出来。
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“看着远处的灯,Jhn低声问妹妹:‘我应该那样做吗’?”可知,本段可以写Jane鼓励Jhn游向岸边,以及Jhn在游往岸边时的艰难和他的担心。
②由第二段首句内容“大约三小时后,Jhn到达了海岸线,看到房子亮着灯。”可知,本段可以写Jhn上岸后的疲惫,以及他拖着疲惫的身子跑向小屋呼救。小屋的人听到他的呼救声,就出发前往海中营救他们一家人。最终,他们被及时地救了出来。
2.续写线索:Jhn决定游到海边→妹妹Jane鼓励他这么做→担心是否成功,并尽力与潮汐抗争,游向海边→成功到达海岸线→爬上岸边,呼救→小屋里的人听到呼救声→出发前往海中间→成功救下他们一家人。
3.词汇积累:
行为类:
鼓励:encurage/inspire/stimulate
集中注意力:fcus n/cncentrate n
怀疑:dubt/questin/be puzzled
情绪类:
精疲力尽的:exhausted/tired ut
绝望的:desperate/helpless/despairing
幸运地:luckily/frtunately
【典型句式】
【高分句型1】
Exhausted, he pulled himself ut f water, staggered alng and called fr help.(运用了形容词做状语。)
【高分句型2】
Many times Jhn dubted whether it was a right chice.(运用了whether 引导宾语从句。)
2.One pssible versin:
Back hme, Jimmy requested his mther t let him clean her hands. His mther felt strange but with mixed feelings, she shwed her hands t the kid. It was the first time he had nticed that there were s many bruises in her hands. His tears fell as he cleaned her hands. This was als the first time he had realized that it was the bruises in the mther’s hands that were the price that the mther had t pay fr his graduatin, academic excellence and his future. After cleaning his mther’s hands, the yuth quietly washed all the remaining clthes fr his mther. That night, mther and sn talked fr a very lng time.
The next mrning, Jimmy went t the interviewer’s ffice. “What have yu dne and learned, yung man?” Jimmy answered with tears in his eyes, “I cleaned my mther’s hands and all the remaining clthes.” The lady ndded, “Please share smething with me.” The yuth said, “Firstly, I knw nw what appreciatin is. Withut my mther, there wuld nt be the successful me tday. Additinally, by wrking tgether and helping my mther, I nw realize hw difficult and tugh it is t get smething dne. Ultimately, I have learned t appreciate the imprtance and value f family relatinship.” The interviewer smiled, “This is what I am lking fr t be my manager. Yu are hired. Cngratulatins!”
【写作指导】本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了学业优秀的吉米去参加招聘面试,他从中学到研究生的学习成绩一直都很优秀。在面试官得知,从小失去父亲的吉米,一直由做洗衣工的母亲独自抚养,既没有做过兼职工作,也没有帮助母亲洗过衣服后,面试官让吉米回家给母亲洗手的故事。
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“回到家,吉米请求他的母亲让他给她洗手。”可知,第一段可描写吉米请求给母亲洗手,第一次看清母亲双手的样子及他的感触。
②由第二段首句内容“第二天早上,吉米来到面试官的办公室。”可知,第二段可描写吉米见到面试官后,跟面试官讲述自己做了什么和内心的感悟。
2.续写线索:母亲感到很奇怪——吉米给母亲洗手——发现母亲沧桑的双手——感动落泪——帮母亲洗衣服和母亲交流——跟面试官讲述自己做了什么——分享自己的感悟——被录取
3.词汇激活
行为类
①谈话:talk /chat
②注意:ntice/ pay attentin t
③回答:answer/ reply
情绪类
①感激:appreciatin / gratitude
②奇怪的:strange / dd
【典型句式】
[高分句型1] His tears fell as he cleaned her hands. (运用了as引导的时间状语从句)
[高分句型2] Firstly, I knw nw what appreciatin is. (运用了what引导的宾语从句)
[高分句型3] This is what I am lking fr t be my manager.(运用了what引导的表语从句)
3.
As I mved slwly alng the rad, I felt tired and hungry. And I was s anxius t get hme. Just then I saw that guy trying t back ut but n ne in frnt f me wuld like t pause and let him in. He had been waiting fr almst 15 minutes when I drve up. I stpped s he had space t back ut and I expected nthing in return. But as sn as his car came ut t the frnt f mine, I saw he was s happy and his whle bdy shk back and frth!
The yung guy gave me a huge thank-yu wave right away. It als made me smile after a lng hard day at wrk. I realized that althugh peple in Bstn aren’t usually nice t each ther n the rads, it desn’t mean I shuld give up and quit being helpful t ther drivers. I felt relieved since this unusually friendly persn taught me a gd lessn that in the middle f a crwd that des nt care fr ther peple, it’s still valuable t be thughtful and kind.
【写作分析】本文以作者在波士顿的生活展开叙述,讲述了该地司机的素质较低,行车拒绝让路,对其他人怒吼,也不会考虑去帮助其他司机,甚至插队也不说谢谢。从而使作者对自己在波士顿礼让的行为得不到回报而感到寒心。而某天开车遇到的一位年轻人,作者同样给他礼让,但却出乎意料得到了感谢,这使得作者仍然能够保持自己的善意行为。
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“当我慢慢沿着道路走的时候,我感到又累又饿。”可知,第一段可写作者急切渴望回家休息。由第二段首句内容“这个年轻人给了我一个大大的感谢挥手。”可知,作者还是帮助了他。故第一段可写作者是如何帮助他的。
②由第二段首句内容“这个年轻人给了我一个大大的感谢挥手”可知,第二段可描写作者经此一事对于自己想要帮助其他人想法的动摇又坚定了,可进行适当心理描写。
2.续写线索:渴望回家——帮助——感谢——心理活动——感悟
3.词汇激活
行为类
①等候:wait fr/await
②回家:get hme/g back hme
③放弃:give up/back dwn
情绪类
①开心:s happy/very delighted
②宽慰:feel relieved/cmfrt
【典型句式】
【高分句型1】But as sn as his car came ut t the frnt f mine, I saw he was s happy and his whle bdy shk back and frth!(运用了as sn as引导的时间状语从句)
【高分句型2】I felt relieved since this unusually friendly persn taught me a gd lessn that in the middle f a crwd that des nt care fr ther peple, it’s still valuable t be thughtful and kind.(运用了that引导的同位语从句及that引导的定语从句)
4. The next day, my mther dragged me t the eye dctr’s ffice. I chse a set f frames and tried t believe my mther when she said they lked really gd n me. The dctr said the glasses wuld be ready sn. But I wasn’t ready at all. When the glasses arrived, the eye dctr put them n my face and walked me ut nt the sidewalk in frnt f his ffice. Lking up frm my shes, I fund myself in a whle new wrld — a wrld filled with clear pictures, bright clrs, and fine detail everywhere I lked. I culd als see my mther smiling as she watched me see the wrld in a whle new way. On that first day, they were a present.
But then Mnday mrning came, and I had t face what I fear: the kids in my classrm. I was frightened that sme naughty bys wuld call me “fur eyes!” Hwever, it didn’t happened as I feared it wuld be. When I entered the classrm, Lily, my best friend, shwed me a big smile, saying, “Ww! Hw beautiful yur glasses are!” Even, during the math class, fr the first time I raised up my hand and answered the questin because I finally saw the blackbard clearly. S dn’t be afraid f what yu think is frightening, maybe it wuld pen a brand new wrld.
【写作指导】本文以故事发展为线索,讲述作者从小视力就不太好,但是一直不让人发现自己视力不好,不敢佩戴眼镜,怕人嘲笑。但是五年级的视力检测使她暴露。于是她只能在妈妈的强迫下去配眼镜。本没做好准备的她戴上眼镜发现了全新的美好世界,以为会嘲笑她的同学们朝她微笑,甚至因为看得清楚黑板,她上课还能回答问题。她试图告诉我们不要惧怕什么,可能这件你惧怕的事将为你打开一个美丽的、崭新的世界。
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“第二天我妈妈把我拽到眼镜店。”可知,第一段可描写作者眼镜店配眼镜、直到戴上眼镜的经过。
②由第二段首句内容“但是接着周一早上到来了。我需要面对我所害怕的了:我们班上的同学”可知,第二段可描写作者戴着眼镜去上学之后发生的事情。
2.续写线索:多次视力测试蒙会过关——被发现视力有问题——去检查眼睛、配眼镜——戴上眼镜发现清晰的世界——戴眼镜去上学——被赞美
3.词汇激活
行为类
①.成功做某事:manage t d/succeed in ding
②.承认:cnfess/admit
情绪类
①.惊慌的:panicked/anxius
②.害怕的:afraid/frightened
【典型句式】
[高分句型1]. I chse a set f frames and tried t believe my mther when she said they lked really gd n me.(由when引导的时间状语从句)
[高分句型2]. I was frightened that sme naughty bys wuld call me “fur eyes!”(由that引导的宾语从句)
5.One pssible versin:
We headed fr the basement (地下室). Once there, I sat n the flr with Ore n my lap as the wind blew and the thunder bmed. Then there was a great crash that shk the huse. Hearing the nise, Ore turned t me, with his eyes full f fear. I had n idea what it was abut. In spite f this, I had a feeling that smething terrible must have happened t my huse. The strm cntinued fr a few minutes and then passed as quickly as it had arrived. Ore and I headed back upstairs.
I discvered that my huse had been damaged (损害) by a fallen tree. The tree kncked a big hle in the rf right abve my bed. If I had been n that bed, I culd have been killed. I felt s relieved and happy that I culdn’t hide my tears. Thank gdness that Ore had sensed the cming strm and wken me up. That ld cat saved my life! This was an episde in my life that I wuld never frget.
【写作指导】本文以人物为线索展开,讲述了作者养了一只猫叫做Ore,一天晚上,Ore突然把作者吵醒,刚开始作者不明其意,后来发现原来是暴风雨来了,最后在Ore的提醒下,成功躲过灾害。
1.段落续写:
①由第一段首句内容“我们朝地下室走去。”可知,第一段可描写作者躲到地下室后的感觉和Ore的表现。
②由第二段首句内容“我发现我的房子被一棵倒下的树毁坏了。”可知,第二段可描写作者劫后余生的感悟,以及对Ore的感谢。
2.续写线索:晚上睡觉——Ore吵醒我——感到奇怪——发现暴风雨来了——去地下室躲避——感动害怕——发现房子毁坏了——自己差点遭受意外——感谢Ore
3.词汇激活
行为类
①到达:arrive/reach
②返回:head back/return/g back
③撞击:knck/hit/strike
④感觉到:sense/perceive/have a feeling
情绪类
①害怕:fear/terrr/anxiety
②宽慰的:relieved/pleased/cmfrted
【典型句式】
[高分句型1]If I had been n that bed, I culd have been killed.(if引导的条件状语从句,以及虚拟语气)
[高分句型2]This was an episde in my life that I wuld never frget.(that引导的定语从句)
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