素材8 成长篇：私家读后续写分话题语料库整理

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阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。
“Make sure yu bring yur schlwrk hme,” Mther had tld Shawn n Friday. Shawn had knwn what that meant. The ice n the river was n lnger safe fr his snwmbile, and it wuld be many weeks befre the ice melted enugh t crss the river by bat. Shawn was thinking that if he culdn't g t schl, maybe he culd drive his snwmbile int the muntains.
Suddenly, Mther grasped her side with bth hands, her face pale. Shawn hurried tward her.
“My stmach...” she maned (呻吟).
Shawn helped Mther sit n the flr. Befre he culd reach the telephne t call fr the ambulance r the hvercraft—the fire department’s ice-rescue vehicle—he remembered that last week’s ice strm had cut ff the phne lines.
“I’ll get yu t the hspital, Mther,” Shawn whispered. “Dn't wrry.” But Shawn was wrried. Hw culd he get her t the hspital? The snwmbile wasn't safe. Suddenly, an idea struck him—maybe he culd use the bat.
“We can’t crss the river, Shawn, “his mther whispered.” The ice is t thin.” But she still let him help her int the bat. Then he remembered that Father always brught a chisel (凿子) and a sledgehammer (长柄大锤) n the ice in the winter. S he fund them and placed them next t his mther.
Cautiusly, Shawn pushed the bat nt the ice. The bat slid mre easily than he had expected n the water-cvered ice. Shawn pushed and pushed, thugh his arms sn ached and his legs were sre. He wasn't far frm the ther side f the river, when he nticed tw men drilling a fishing hle next t the shre. Just then, with a lud crack, the frnt part f the bat brke thrugh the ice. Shawn tk a quick step away frm the bat, his arms shaking with tiredness.
The men were shuting at Shawn, waving a mbile phne, but the wind blew their wrds away. Shawn was very nervus. Then he remembered—the chisel! He culd use it as a lever (杠杆). Shawn reached fr the chisel. His mther passed him the chisel and the sledgehammer.
Paragraph 1:
Wrking quickly, Shawn sn had the chisel firmly hammered int the ice.
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Paragraph 2:
Shawn stared at the white walls f the hspital waiting rm.
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【答案】One pssible versin:
Wrking quickly, Shawn sn had the chisel firmly hammered int the ice. Using the chisel as a lever, he tried t lift the bat. The bat mved halfway up the ice-edge, then, t Shawn’s disappintment, slipped back int the hle. “N,” he thught, “I'm nt giving up.” He pulled against the chisel as hard as he culd until the bat mved nt the thin ice. A sund f applause frm shre reminded Shawn f the men. And Shawn was happy t see an ambulance near the shre. Shawn's mther was sent t the nearest hspital.
Shawn stared at the white walls f the hspital waiting rm. After sme hurs, a man came in and sat next t him. Shawn realized that he was the dctr frm the ambulance. “Yur mther is fine.” He said, smiling. “I heard abut yur trip acrss the ice. Yur mther was lucky that yu were there t help her.” “Thank yu,” Shawn said. He culd hardly think. He was t tired and every muscle in his bdy ached, but he still smiled when he thught f his mther.
【解析】
【分析】
本篇书面表达是读后续写。文章讲述了主人公独自一人送生病的妈妈去医院的经过。
【详解】本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知，因为天气原因，河面上的冰要过几周才能融化到可以乘船过河，但肖恩的妈妈在这时生了重病，家里没有其他人而且上周的暴风雪切断了电话线，所以肖恩想靠自己的力量送妈妈去医院，但在河面上遇到了危险。
续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：肖恩动作很快，很快就把凿子牢牢地钉在冰上。所以后文应该描述肖恩是怎样让船重新回到冰面上的，并将妈妈安全送到了医院。在描述过程中可以对肖恩的动作及心理活动进行细节描写。第二段开头是：肖恩凝视着医院候诊室的白色墙壁。本段应该写肖恩的妈妈的病情好转，以及在得知妈妈病情好转后肖恩的感觉。同时，也可以写出医生或其他人对肖恩勇敢的行为的赞扬。
【点睛】范文内容完整，要点全面，语言规范，语篇连贯，词数适当，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系。作者在范文中合理使用了复合句，如“Shawn realized that he was the dctr frm the ambulance.”这句话为that引导的宾语从句；其次，使用了一些固定短语，如：give up; remind sb. f…; hear abut等，使语言更加丰富；同时使用了一些高级词汇，如disappintment; ambulance; applause等，让语言更加地道。全文中没有中国式英语的句式，显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外，文章思路清晰、层次分明，上下句转换自然，为文章增色添彩。
版块二---读后续写精彩词句集锦
情感表达
喜乐、满意:
1.Her face brightened up/lit up.
2.Thugh cleaning up the rubbish was a tugh task, ur hearts were filled with jy.
3.I was pleased beynd descriptin.
4.She wre a shining smile n her face.
5.Her smile lit up the whle rm.
宽慰：
1.Seeing their task finished gives them a sense f satisfactin.
2.When he heard this, he was was wild with jy.
愤怒：
1.When he heard this, he was turning with anger.
2.I was seized by anger.
3.His vice trembled with anger.
4.He glared at me with burning eyes.
悲伤烦恼：
1.He std silently, tears rlling dwn his cheeks.
2.She sbbed, hiding her face in her hands.
3.These days he was in lw spirits.
4.Jake sat there quietly and tears streamed dwn his face.
惊讶困惑：
1.Ben seemed surprised t hear this.
2.When he was asked, he was shcked that he culd nt say what had ccurred when the attack tk place.
3.On learning the truth, I was ttally shcked.
害怕：
1.He turned t me, with his eyes full f hrrr.
2.Her heart beat s vilently that she felt nearly ut f breath.
感动：
1.Tears filling her eyes, she ffered her heartfelt gratitude.
2.With tears streaming dwn her face, she…
板块三--能力提升（现学现用）
阅读下面短文，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Bys like t be cnsidered t be brave,but what kind f things can be cnsidered t be brave? It is nt a questin that can be answered by wrds,but by the actual deed.
A by with the name Henry gave us a gd example.Rnny and Henry were tw friends in the same class.They always played tgether and went hme tgether.One day as Rnny and Henry were ging hme after schl,they saw sme peple fighting in the street crner.Rnny said excitedly,"Sme peple are fighting!Let's g and have a lk!"But Henry refused,"It's nne f ur business.We'd better g hme and dn't get clse t them.Als ur parents are expecting t have dinner with us tgether at hme and I dn't want them t wrry abut me."
＂Yu are a cward((懦夫)，and afraid t g,"said Rnny,and ff he ran t the spt with sme ther bys.Henry had t g hme alne and didn't think abut it anymre.
But Rnny thught Henry was a cward and tld all the bys that.They laughed at him a great deal.Frm then n,they lked dwn upn Henry and didn't want t play with him.
Henry was sad but he wasn't angry with Rnny fr his rude behavir,because he had learned that true curage was shwn mst in bearing misunderstanding when it was nt deserved,and that he ught t be afraid f nthing but ding wrng.Thus,he just ignred the ther bys' laughter and cntinued t stick t his thught and g t schl and study as well.Hwever,Rnny didn't invite Henry t g hme with him anymre.Instead,he had his new friends wh als thught Henry was a cward.Every day after schl,they didn't g hme directly but went t the river r smewhere t play games and had lts f fun.
注意：
1.所续写的短文词数应为150左右；
2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为二段，每段的开头语已经为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1:
A few days later,smething terrible happened t Rnny.
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Paragraph 2:
At that mment,Henry happened t pass by.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【答案】Paragraph1
A few days later, smething terrible happened t Rnny. That afternn after schl, Rnny was bathing with sme f his new friends in the river happily. Suddenly, he was stuck in the mud and culdn't get ut. He struggled hard but he was still trapped. He screamed fr help, but all in vain. The bys wh had lked dwn upn Henry and called him a cward gt ut f the water as fast as they culd.They were s scared and did nt even try t help him.
paragraph2
At that mment, Henry happened t pass by. He heard the screams and ran t the river as sn as pssible.Seeing Rnny was almst drwned, Henry tk ff his clthes immediately and jumped int the water withut any hesitatin. He reached Rnny just as he was sinking the last time. With great effrt, and with much danger t himself, he brught Rnny t the shre in time. Henry was happy t help his friend, thugh he was extremely tired.
【解析】
【详解】本篇书面表达是读后续写。通过阅读所给文章可知本文讲述了两个男孩Rnny和Henry放学回家时，遇到了别人打架。Rnny要去帮忙，表示勇敢，而Henry却觉得事不关已，不愿参与其中。结果，Henry受到了Rnny和同学们的嘲笑和歧视的故事。也说明了人们对勇敢的理解是不同的。
续写部分分为两段，第一段开头是：几天后，Rnny发生了可怕的事情。接下来应该写Rnny遇到了需要帮助的事情，但是面对自身的利益，周围的很多人并没有帮忙，这才能让他明白，勇敢到底要怎样去定义。第二段的开头是：就在那一刻，Henry碰巧经过。接下来应该写Henry虽然上次面对陌生人打架，他没有勇敢帮忙。但是，当自己的朋友Rnny真正遇到麻烦时，他还是愿意勇敢地挺身而出，伸出援助之手的。从而也让Rnny和同学们进一步思考：什么是真正的勇敢。
续写时要求使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语增加了写作难度，我们要熟悉所给划线词语，恰当的时候加以运用。最后还要注意所续写短文的词数应为150左右；续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。按要求完成写作任务。
【点睛】本文描写详略得当，使用了高级词汇和高级句子。如：was stuck in，in vain，withut any hesitatin等高级词汇；定语从句wh had lked dwn upn Henry and called him a cward；还有状语从句as fast as they culd.和just as he was sinking the last time.；with介词短语作状语With great effrt, and with much danger t himself,等高级句式。