2020版高考新创新一轮复习英语北师大版学案：写作第二编扩充句——告别瘦削骨感·美在意韵丰满

不是不会写，而是不知写什么，尤其是面对越来越开放化的写作要点时，考生不善想象，不会发散，导致语句表达干瘪无物，直译要点，搜肠刮肚也凑不够词数，一脸窘态。如何合理想象、扩充句式，让写作有血有肉，本部分从4个方面给予指导。

扩充策略(一)　不走寻常路，靓句带你飞——追加成分

高考英语书面表达不仅规定了写作内容，还明确规定了词数，并在评分标准中指出，如果“词数少于80和多于120的，从总分中减去2分”。但在实际阅卷过程中，如果词数过少，扣掉的不止是2分。因为篇幅过短，不能吸引阅卷老师细看以便查找诸如“高级词汇”“较高级结构”等“加分点”，自然影响得分档次。

在试题“注意”中有明确规定：“1.词数100左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”。这里既规定了词数，又指定了充实文章的方法，即“适当增加细节”。“适当增加细节”其中很重要的一个方法就是——追加成分。

[典例观摩悟法]

1．(提醒演讲参赛选手)要守时、讲卫生、守纪律。

Please arrive on time, keep quiet and don't litter around.

→Please arrive there on time, for whoever is late won't be allowed to enter. It's bad manners to litter around.And always keep quiet while waiting for your turn.

[分析]　原句虽然没有直译所给要点，且灵活化解了难点，但过于直白、语气较为生硬；而改写后的句子则进行了拓展，具体明确。如“for whoever is late ...”提醒参赛选手迟到后果的严重性；“It's bad manners ...”使用it作形式主语的句型，指出乱扔东西属于不礼貌行为；“while waiting for your turn”使用状语从句的省略形式，进行补充说明。因此，改写后的句子更充实，更适宜对参赛选手提建议的语境。

2．(演讲注意事项)要面带微笑；要讲慢些，讲清楚。

Be sure to wear a smile on your face.Besides, remember to speak slowly and clearly.

→Be sure to wear a smile on your face when you speak, which will make you relaxed.Besides, remember to speak slowly and clearly so that you can leave a good impression on the audience and judges.

[分析]　加蓝部分是根据语境所追加的成分，如“which will make you relaxed”指出“演讲时微笑”的好处；“so that you can ...”为“讲慢些，讲清楚”的目的，留下好印象是“演讲”效果之一，也是能否获得评委青睐的因素之一。适当增加与所给信息相关的时间、原因、结果、条件、目的等成分来表达细节内容，能够使习作流畅、丰满，达到应有的表达效果。

[专题过关训练]

请发挥合理想象，扩展句子(请注意括号内提供的语境)

1．(开设英语电影欣赏课)建议多选择英语电影。

As_a_young_student,_I suggest the teacher choose more English films that appeal_to_us_teenagers,_thus making_English_learning_more_interesting.

2．(讨论学生带手机问题)不允许学生带手机。

Students are forbidden to take a cellphone in_order_not_to_affect_our_studies/so_as_not_to_disturb_others_in_class.

3．(去看电影)你最好早点到。

In_order_to_get_a_good_seat_for_seeing,_you'd better arrive a bit earlier.

4．(2018·全国卷Ⅱ书面表达)(通知学校放映电影)这部英文短片主要与我们学校的发展有关。

The English short film is mainly related to the development of our school, which_will_greatly_help_us_students_know_the_school's_history_better_and_appeal_to_us_to_make_contributions_to_our_school's_development.

5．(2018·全国卷Ⅲ书面表达)(介绍学校体育馆)体育场馆已经建立起来，许多运动项目可在里面举行。

To begin with, a new stadium has been built up，which_has_become_the_new_landmark_in_our_school.Moreover, with the stadium set up, a wide range of sports events are able to be held, of_which_table_tennis,_football_as_well_as_running_competitions_enjoy_great_popularity.

6．(2018·北京高考书面表达)(咨询来北京上大学)建议你上北京大学，中国文学专业适合你。

Learning_your_keen_interest_in_Chinese_culture,_I suggest you apply for Peking University, one_of_the_best_universities_in_China.Its Chinese Literature major is perfect for you where_you_can_be_completely_soaked_in_Chinese_profound_history_and_rich_culture.

扩充策略(二)　铺上红地毯再出场——补加语句

补加语句是常见的“增加细节”的方法，这可以使文章显得错落有致，这样不仅使文章在形式上增加美感，而且使文章读起来铿锵有力，从而使作文在内容上更加连贯、丰满。下面介绍补加语句的几种技法：

技法1　列举具体的实例进行补充说明

①我喜欢读书。

I like reading books.

→I like reading books, such as novels, short stories, magazines and newspapers.

②我要花一些时间和父母在一起。

I'll spend some time staying with my parents.

→I'll spend some time staying with my parents, chatting with them and doing some housework.

③我想找一个像我一样喜欢旅行的笔友。

I'd like to seek a pen pal who is interested in traveling just like me.

→I'd like to seek a pen pal who is interested in traveling just like me. If possible, we can travel together or share traveling experiences.

技法2　增添与所写信息相关的神态、动作、心理描写以及背景渲染等内容

①我有时去村西的小河游泳。

I go swimming in the river of the west of the village now and then.

→I go swimming in the river of the west of the village now and then. The water in the river is very clear.(背景渲染)

→Weather permitting, I go swimming in the river of the west of the village now and then.(相关背景)

②旅行了一周后，他回到了家。

After a week's trip, he returned home.

→After a week's trip, he returned home, tired but very happy.(心理描写)

技法3　增加相关信息的时间、地点等内容

①我要和父母一起去超市购物。

I'm going to do some shopping with my parents in the supermarket.

→I'm going to do some shopping with my parents in the supermarket and won't be back until about 5：00 in the afternoon.(增加时间)

②我已经带来了你让我归还的这两本书。

I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return.

→I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return to the City Library.(增加地点)

[典例观摩悟法]

1．(提醒观众注意)要按时进入电影院。

Be sure to enter the theater on time.

→Be sure to enter the theater on time.Whoever is late will miss the splendid opening.

[分析]　要点句为简单句，补加复合句“Whoever is late ...”，通过指出迟到后果的方式引起观众的注意，同时，也使得句式多样，表达丰富多彩。

2．(谈论善款用途)募捐得来的钱将送给最急需的人。

The money collected in the charity sale will be sent to those in great need.

→The money collected in the charity sale will be sent to those in great need.This will not only help them get through difficulties, but also give them warmth and happiness.

[分析]　通过复合句来增加“较复杂结构”，同时也是上一句衍生的“效果”：帮助他们战胜困难，还给予他们温暖和幸福。

[专题过关训练]

请适当补加语句，充实下面写作片段

1．(描写英语老师)His class left us students a deep impression.(1)He_tries_his_best_to_make_us_understand_what_he_is_teaching/He_has_a_free_talk_with_us_in_simple_and_humorous_English/He_has_a_good_way_to_make_his_class_lively_and_interesting.He speaks slowly and clearly so that we can follow him well.Meanwhile, he would repeat just in time what the students did not understand.(2)Greatly_inspired,_most_of_us_take_an_active_part_in_his_class/Our_English_has_greatly_improved_with_his_help_and_guidance.

2．(说明自己所擅长的两项技艺)As a Chinese, I'm good at many skills related with our traditional culture.But among them, Taichi is my favorite because it does much good to my health.(1)I'm_sure_American_friends_will_be_also_crazy_about_it_after_they_touch_it.And as you know, Chinese cooking is popular all over the world.(2)It_happens_that_I'm_expert_at_it,_and_I'm_glad_to_present_some_traditional_Chinese_dishes_to_everybody.

3．(2018·浙江高考写作)(应聘志愿者的相关经验) Firstly, I can speak fluent English and (1)I_have_little_difficulty_communicating_with_foreigners.Secondly, I helped receive some visiting foreigners to our school last year.(2)This_experience_is_sure_to_enable_me_to_do_better_this_year.

4．(互联网的好处)The Internet is playing a more and more important part in our daily life. We_can_not_only_read_news_from_home_and_abroad,_but_also_get_information,_send_emails_and_attend_online_schools.

扩充策略(三)　陡转之处拐个弯——增加过渡

增加过渡是常见的“增加细节”的方法，过渡性词语和过渡性语句的使用是语言连贯性得以实现的最常用手段。在句与句之间，段与段之间恰当地使用一些承上启下的过渡(连接)性词语、句子可避免语句陡转直下，不联不搭，通过合理过渡，实现语句的衔接顺畅。这就需要考生在日常学习中积累背诵常用的过渡词。例如：表示列举的firstly, secondly, thirdly, finally；表示自己看法的as far as I'm concerned, from my point of view, in my opinion；表示转折的on the contrary, however, every coin has two sides等。

[典例观摩悟法]

1．(话题：家长用车接送学生引起校门口拥堵) Our traffic department should strengthen management to make the parents obey traffic rules.Our school should appeal to us students to walk or ride a bike to and from school, which is not only friendly to our traffic environment but also is good for students' health.

→In my opinion, the problem can be solved from two aspects.On one hand, our traffic department should strengthen management to make the parents obey traffic rules.On the other hand, our school should appeal to us students to walk or ride a bike to and from school, which is not only friendly to our traffic environment but also is good for students' health.

[分析]　本段作者使用In my opinion, the problem can be solved ...主题句，其中from two aspects让读者明白作者提供了两个方面的建议，并以on one hand, on the other hand进行展示。这些过渡性词语和过渡句的恰当使用，使文章语言连贯、过渡自然、浑然一体。

2．(去美国学习英语询问具体问题)I'm concerned with how far it is from the host family to my school.I'm wondering whether a private bedroom will be offered to me.I tend to know if there are any special customs that I should pay attention to.Would you please give me some more suggestions on how to get along well with the host family？I'm sure your advice will benefit me a lot.

→Firstly，I'm concerned with how far it is from the host family to my school.Secondly, I'm wondering whether a private bedroom will be offered to me.Furthermore，I tend to know if there are any special customs that I should pay attention to.Last but not least, would you please give me some more suggestions on how to get along well with the host family？I'm sure your advice will benefit me a lot.

[分析]　本段作者使用firstly, secondly, furthermore, last but not least使层次清晰连贯，使文章提高一个档次，能彰显作者实力。

[专题过关训练]

Ⅰ.用过渡性词汇补全句子

1．(2018·浙江高考写作)We lost our way in the forest and to_make_matters_worse/worse_still (更糟的是), it got dark.

2．(2018·北京高考书面表达)In_my_opinion/view (依我看) studying for a degree in a different culture is never easy.

3．First_of_all/To_begin_with (首先), the most significant thing is to set a goal, work out a plan and carry out the plan step by step.

4．On_the_one_hand (一方面), they can sweep the tombs for the dead.On_the_other_hand (另一方面), they can go for a walk in the country in spring when the grass has just turned green.

5．In_a_word/In_conclusion/In_short/In_brief (总之), success is important, and so is failure, because it's the mother of success.

Ⅱ.阅读下面短文，从方框中选择适当的过渡性词语填空

近来，中学生普遍缺乏自我保护意识这一问题备受关注，请你用英语写一篇短文：

1．概括中学生自我保护的重要性；

2．就如何保护自己谈谈你的看法(至少两点)。

above all， besides， meanwhile， for one thing， for another thing， personally， in a word

Recently, it has been a great public concern that the students lack self­protection awareness.

There is a lack of social experience among students and therefore learning how to protect ourselves is of great significance to us all.1.For_one_thing,_security comes first.Without security, we can achieve nothing and cannot live up to parents' expectations.2.For_another thing,_protecting ourselves contributes to the healthy development of us students, which is associated with the happiness of every family.3.Meanwhile,_it also helps to build a more harmonious society.

4．Personally,_in order to protect us students, 5.above_all,_we should strengthen our security awareness.6.Besides,_when accidents occur, we should calm down and turn to teachers or parents for help.The government also plays a leading role in protecting students.7.In_a_word,_only by the combined efforts of every side involved can we live and study in harmony.

Ⅲ.请在下面的段落内加上适当的词语或句子，以充实文章

　(话题：是否禁止广场舞)I don't think square dancing should be forbidden.1.Here_are_the_reasons/The_reasons_are_as_follows.2.First_of_all/To_begin_with,_dancing is a good way to take exercise, which can help people to build themselves up.It 3.also provides a chance for people to communicate with each other.4.Besides/What's_more,_the square is a good place for people to work out.

扩充策略(四)　世界那么大，带你去看看——详加描述

详加描述是常见的“增加细节”的方法，这可以使文章词数达标、内容充实、结构连贯、语意顺畅。

[典例观摩悟法]

下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充实文章、突出主题。

一家英语报社向中学生征文，主题是“我理想的大学生活”，请根据下列要求和你的畅想完成短文。

1．专业与课程； 2.老师与同学； 3.学校活动。

注意：1.词数100左右；

2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；

3．开头语已给出，不计入总词数。

I often imagine what my life will be like in my dream university.                        

[学生习作](得分16分)

I often imagine what my life will be like in my dream university.I'll be admitted to Peking University and major in English.I can choose a variety of courses, such as English literature.

The professor there will be friendly and devoted to their teaching.Besides, I'll have lovely and caring classmates.In our spare time, various activities will be held to build up our courage and experience, such as parties and competitions.

[分析]　该文虽然把题干中给出的三个要点一一列出，结构清晰，还使用了一些高级词汇如be admitted to, a variety of, be devoted to, various等。然而由于简单罗列要点，全文只有约70词，且缺少连贯性，未能完全完成试题规定的任务。

下面是修改完成后的作文，请注意加黑句子对充实文章、突出主题的作用。

I often imagine what my life will be like in my dream university.As far as I can imagine, I'll be admitted to Peking University, where I'll major in English.I can choose a variety of courses, which will help me improve my spoken English and have a better understanding of foreign cultures.

The professors there will be friendly and devoted to their teaching, with whose help not only can I enrich my knowledge but also I can broaden my horizons.In addition, I'll have lovely and caring classmates.We'll compete in our study and be close friends in our daily life.In our free time, various activities will be held to build up our courage and experience, such as parties and competitions.

I'm sure my college life will be rich and colorful.

[分析]　修改后的文章篇幅适中(120 words)，要点齐全、内容充实、语言丰富、句式多样、行文连贯，而且详略得当，主题突出。文中“详加描述”合情合理(见加黑部分)，尤其是最后一句与文章首句照应，结构显得非常紧凑。

总之，要想使文章充实、连贯，就需要“适当增加细节”。但是，这些细节的增加需要结合体裁、主题以及行文走向，“画龙点睛”式地增加，绝不能毫无节制地乱加一气，以免冲淡主题，模糊文意，甚至“跑偏了”主题。

[专题过关训练]

1．下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充实文章、突出主题。

近来，中国游客在海外的不文明行为备受热议。假定你是李华，是一名国际旅行社的导游，就此写一篇短文在一份英文报纸上发表自己的观点。请根据下面的提示完成短文。

1．列举不文明行为；

2．指出其影响；

3．提出建议。

注意：1.词数100左右；

2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；

3．开头已给出，不计入总词数。

As a tour guide of an international travel agency, I find it so embarrassing to see many Chinese tourists behave badly abroad.                                                       

[考生习作]

As a tour guide of an international travel agency, I find it so embarrassing to see many Chinese tourists behave badly abroad.Such bad behaviors overseas have caused damage to the country's reputation.

Measures should be taken to stop this.First, before going abroad, tourists should be trained to obey social and public order, and respect local religions and customs.Besides, kindergartens and primary schools should do more to teach the kids to be responsible citizens.

[升格作文]

As a tour guide of an international travel agency, I find it so embarrassing to see many Chinese tourists behave badly abroad.They speak loudly in public places, carve characters on tourist attractions, throw rubbish, spit everywhere, and even cross the road when the traffic lights are still red.Such bad behaviors overseas have caused damage to the country's reputation.

Measures should be taken to stop this.First, before going abroad, tourists should be trained to obey social and public order, and respect local religions and customs.Besides, kindergartens and primary schools should do more to teach the kids to be responsible citizens.Last, laws should be made to punish those who behave badly in public places.I hope soon tourists overseas will change their behavior and win respect for themselves and our country.

2．下面是一位考生的习作，请进行修改，以充实文章、突出主题。

(2018·全国卷Ⅰ)假定你是李华，你的新西兰朋友Terry将去中国朋友家做客，发邮件向你询问有关习俗。请你回复邮件，内容包括：

1．到达时间；

2．合适的礼物；

3．餐桌礼仪。

注意：1.词数100左右；

2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

[考生习作]

Dear Terry，

How are you doing? In your last letter, you asked me about being a guest to a Chinese friend's home.

To begin with, according to our tradition, you are supposed to arrive early.Besides, you'd better bring some gifts.What's more, when you are enjoying the meal, you need to avoid making noises.

I am looking forward to your good news.

Best wishes!

Yours，

Li Hua

[升格作文]

Dear Terry，

How are you doing? In your last letter, you asked me about being a guest to a Chinese friend's home.Now, I am writing to inform you of some relevant details.

To begin with, according to our tradition, you are supposed to arrive early, so that you can help the family prepare the dinner, which is not only meaningful but also interesting.Besides, you'd better bring some gifts, such as a special food or drink from your country.What's more, when you are enjoying the meal, you need to avoid making noises while chewing food.

Hopefully, these suggestions would be of great help to you.I have the confidence that you will have a great time.I am looking forward to your good news.

Best wishes!

Yours，

Li Hua