新高考英语复习:训练06 概要写作示例与写作训练1新高考英语复习:
展开【原文呈现】
阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
Regular exercise can reduce a wman’s risk f cancer, but the benefits may slip away if she gets t little sleep, U.S. researchers said n Mnday.
The study invlving 5,968 wmen in Maryland cnfirmed previus findings that peple wh d regular physical activity are less likely t develp cancer.
But when the researchers lked at the wmen ages 18 t 65 wh were in the upper half in terms f the amunt f physical exercise they gt per week, they fund that sleep appeared t play an imprtant rle in cancer risk.
Thse wh slept less than seven hurs nightly had a 47 percent higher risk f cancer than thse wh gt mre sleep amng the physically active wmen, the researchers reprted at a meeting f the American Assciatin fr Cancer Research.
“We think it’s quite interesting and intriguing. It’s kind f a first lk int this. It isn’t smething that has been widely studied,” James McClain f the Natinal Cancer Institute, part f the U.S. gvernment’s Natinal Institutes f Health, said in a telephne interview.
McClain, wh led the study, said it is unclear exactly hw getting t little sleep may make ne mre susceptible(易受感染的) t cancer. “Getting adequate sleep has been lng assciated with health,” McClain said.
The U.S. Centers fr Disease Cntrl and Preventin calls sleep lss an under-recgnized public health prblem, saying Americans are getting less and less slumber. The CDCP said the percentage f adults reprting sleeping six hurs r less a night increased frm 1985 t 2006.
Sleep experts say chrnic sleep lss is assciated with besity, diabetes, high bld pressure, strke, cardivascular disease, depressin, cigarette smking and excessive drinking.
In additin, research had shwn that peple wh get regular exercise have a reduced risk f breast, cln and ther types f cancer. Experts think the effects f exercise n the bdy’s hrmne levels, immune functin and bdy weight may play an imprtant rle.
【思维路径】
[核心内容]
本文是一篇说明文。文章介绍了一项科学研究发现。第一段科技报道类文章的中心所在,该段告诉我们文章主要说明的要点:经常锻炼可以降低妇女患癌症的风险,但是如果睡眠不足,锻炼的这种好处也将不存在。文章的第二、三、四段讲述了该项研究中的具体的方法与数据统计。文章的第五、六段讲述了研究者对这个研究结果的看法与评论。文章的第七段讲述了美国疾病控制与预防中心对睡眠不足的看法。第八段进一步引证有关睡眠专家对睡眠不足带来的负面影响的看法。最后,第九段又回到该项研究发现上,告诉我们经常锻炼可以降低患那些癌症的风险及其原因。
[写作思路]
(1)熟悉文本类型,把握表述特征。通过文章第一段中的“U.S. researchers said n Mnday”可知,本文是一篇科研报告。科研报告类的写作一般会在文章的开头部分交代文章的中心,然后具体介绍研究的设计、实施以及数据分析等,最后会根据相关研究发现进一步展开说明研究可能会带来的影响等。通过分析文本类型及其表述特征,我们可以准确地筛选文章的中心及其各个部分的分论点。
(2)理清文章结构,概括段落大意。根据(1)部分的分析,我们可以进一步的梳理文章的层次结构:第一段是文章的点题;第二至地四段是文章的数据分析;第五、六段是研究者的评论;第七、八段是引用他人的观点来进一步分析自己的发现;第九段则是进一步分析本研究。通过对文章层次的梳理,我们可以逐一罗列文章的中心及其各个分述的分论点。
(3)确定表述中心,连贯表达要点。在(2)的基础上,我们可以逐一列出要表述的中心:第一段引出文章中心,即Regular exercise can reduce a wman’s risk f cancer, but the benefits may slip away if she gets t little sleep(要点1);第二至四段是第一个分论点,即Peple wh d regular physical activity are less likely t develp cancer, but thse wh sleep less than seven hurs nightly have higher risk. (要点2);第五、六段引出第二个分论点,即This research is quite new, s it is still unclear exactly hw sleeping little may make ne mre susceptible t cancer.(要点3);第七、八段引出第三个分论点,即Sleep lss may give rise t such health prblems as besity, diabetes, strke, depressin and s n. (要点4);最后一段进一步引出研究的发现,即Regular exercises may have an active effect n the bdy’s hrmne levels, immune functin and bdy weight which thus may reduce the risk f cancer. (要点5)。在理清每部分的中心之后,我们可以利用有效的衔接手段,把这些要点组织成一个意义连贯的语篇。
[参考范文]
US researchers have fund that regular exercises may have an active effect n the bdy’s hrmne levels, immune functin and bdy weight which thus may reduce the risk f cancer (要点1,要点5) ,but the benefits may slip away if she gets t little sleep (要点1), especially less than seven hurs nightly (要点2) which may cause such health prblems as besity, depressin and s n. (要点4) Hwever, it is still unclear exactly hw sleeping little may make peple mre susceptible t cancer.(要点3)(76 wrds)
[范文解析]
范文把要点1分为两部分并且与要点5、要点2、要点4进行整合,这样使得文章更加紧凑、言简意赅。范文把要点5放在了开头,这样先交代了regular exercises之所以能够降低患癌症的风险的原因;在这之后,用衔接词but把要点1的后半部分整合了进去,要点2正好也对要点1的后半部分进行了进一步的细化与解释;此外要点4缩写成一个which引导的定语从句,进一步说明睡眠不足带来的健康问题。最后用hwever引入要点3,说明了该项研究所存在的不足,这也正好符合科研报告类文章的写作特点。
[提炼归纳]
1、关注文本的特征。缩写是对原文要点的综述,因而其表达方式或陈述方式也必须与原文相符合。本文是一篇科研报告,所以在缩写部分就要点明是谁做的研究、研究的结果怎样、以及研究是如何进行的等。
2、注重语义的转换。缩写很大程度上依赖于对原有的句子表达的浓缩与改写,这就需要对原文语句进行语义转换,包括使用非谓语动词短语替换原句子,或者用定语从句整合两个句子之间的关系等。范文中对要点1、2、4、5的整合就充分体现了在缩写中语义转换的重要性。
3、强化整合的逻辑。要点整合涉及到事件或观点之间的时间先后、条件、因果关系等逻辑关系,因而在缩写的过程中,需充分关注各个要点之间的逻辑关系,并在此基础上对原文要点进行合理地整合。
【写作演练】
1.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要
First Offer: Take It r Keep Waiting
Anyne wh has searched fr a jb fresh ut f cllege knws hw difficult it is t get that first jb. And if yu’re very lucky, eventually there’s a jb ffer n the table. Shuld yu grasp it, r wait fr smething better t cme alng the way?
It depends n whether yu are a “maximizer” r a “satisficer”. Simply put, satisficers are mre likely t cut their jb search shrt and take the first jb ffer. Maximizers are mre likely t cntinue searching until a better jb ffer cmes alng. Which type f apprach yields the better payff? A maximizer. Specifically, quting the results f a study f the jb search f 548 members f a schl, the maximizers put themselves thrugh mre difficulties in the jb hunt. They applied t twenty jbs, n average, while satisficers applied t nly ten, and they were significantly mre likely t make use f utside surces f infrmatin and supprt. But it turned ut t be wrth it: the jb ffers they gt were significantly better, in terms f salary, than what the satisficers gt.
Satisficers were ffered jbs with an average starting salary f $37, 085; the average starting salary ffered t maximizers was $44, 515, mre than 20 percent higher. The truble is, hwever, that higher pay desn’t make maximizers a happier grup than satisficers. In fact, maximizers were significantly mre likely than satisficers t be unhappy with the ffers they accepted.
Evidently, being a maximizer can help yu earn mre incme, but that incme desn’t buy mre happiness, as the maximizer’s likely t wrry abut the prspect f a better jb ffer ut there he r she missed. Maximizers may have bjectively superir utcmes, but they’re s busy bsessing abut all the things that they culd have had, s they tend t be less happy with the utcmes they d get.
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2.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
Human beings are smart. Hwever, it seems that peple are gradually lsing their smartness as smartphnes becme mre and mre imprtant assistants in their lives, reprted news website Recrd Japan n Oct. 22. As we rely t much n technlgy instead f ur brains, many peple have lst three basic abilities, said the website.
The first skill many peple have lst is remembering phne numbers. Because phne numbers are stred in smart phne cntacts, there's n need t dial a number r lk at it again.
And sme peple may als have lst their sense f directin because navigatin apps can guide peple anywhere they want t g. These apps can even find shrtest rutes fr yu and avid traffic jams. But the wrst lst skills may be scial nes, meaning that sme peple are becming scially inept(无能的). Peple ften bury themselves in their smart phnes. As we're t addicted t what's happening in the virtual wrld, sme f us have lst cnversatinal skills and smetimes can't even tell whether a persn is happy r nt.
In August, researchers at the University f Califrnia, Ls Angeles, studied 51 students aged 11 and 12 wh had ver five hurs' screen time every day. Their task was t tell the emtins f 48 pictures f faces that were happy, sad, angry r scared. The children made an average f 14.02 mistakes at the beginning. But after a five-day camp withut electrnic (电子的) prducts, they made nly 9.41 mistakes n average. “If yu’re nt practicing face-t-face cmmunicatin, yu culd be lsing imprtant scial skills,” cncluded prfessr Yalda Uhls frm the research.
Luckily, peple still have a chance t get these abilities back. Yu shuld try t keep yur parents' numbers in mind fr emergencies. Yu shuld als pay mre attentin t street signs and stres, which will help yu t draw a mind map and stp yu frm getting lst. And the easiest slutin t scial skill lss is t take a break frm electrnic devices because we are scial creatures. We need device-free time.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
Happy, angry, amazed – these are sme f the emtins we like t express these days when we’re sending a message n ur smartphnes! That’s why many f us nw add little pictures t ur texts t brighten up smene’s mbile screen but we’re als using them as a quick way f telling smene hw we’re feeling. Yes, emjis have becme a vital tl fr cmmunicatin.
The emji was first invented in Japan in the late 1990s and the wrd “emji” cmes frm the Japanese wrds fr “picture” and “character”. The number f different images has dramatically increased since then and nw we have a picture fr every md r situatin.
S nw we have the ptin t give this new creatin the visual “thumbs-up” but have yu thught why we’ve becme s addicted t using emjis? Prfessr Vyv Evans has written a bk called The Emji Cde. He says, “Increasingly, what we’re finding is that digital cmmunicatin is taking ver frm certain aspects f face-t-face interactin. One f the reasns emjis are s interesting is that they really d enable us t express ur emtinal selves much mre effectively.” S emjis are a srt f replacement fr the visual signals r nn-verbal clues we nrmally give when we speak t smene face-t-face.
Anther advantage f emjis is that they are an internatinal language – they dn’t use wrds but tell a message in the frm f pictures s they can be easily understd whatever yur native language is. Hwever, the emjis yu send need sme thught as they can smetimes be misunderstd – if a friend sends yu an emji f a hammer, yu may think he is angry when really he is saying he has hurt himself r he is clumsy!
Emjis are a gd way fr shwing cmmn emtins. But as linguist Neil Chn says, “T many, emjis are an exciting develpment f the way we cmmunicate; T thers, they are extinctin f language.” It des shw there is a lt mre t ur cmmunicatin than wrds alne but des this mean the decline in traditinal writing?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
Why is the wrld’s ppulatin grwing?The answer is nt what yu might think.The reasn fr the explsin is nt that peple have been reprducing like rabbits,but that peple have stpped drpping dead like flies.In 1900,peple died at the average age f 30.By 2000 the average age was 65.But while increasing health was a typical feature f the 20th century,declining birth rate culd be a defining ne f the 21st.
Statistics shw that the average number f births per wman has fallen frm 4.9 in the early 1960s t 2.5 nwadays.Furthermre,arund 50% f the wrld’s ppulatin live in regins where the figure is nw belw the replacement level ( births per wman) and almst all develped natins are experiencing sub-replacement birth rate.Yu might think that develping natins wuld make up the lss (especially since 80% f the wrld’s peple nw live in such natins),but yu’d be wrng.Declining birth rate is a majr prblem in many develping regins t,which might cause catastrphic glbal shrtages f wrk frce within a few decades.
A great decline in yung wrk frce is likely t ccur in China,fr instance.What des it imply?First,China needs t underg rapid ecnmic develpment befre a ppulatin decline hits the cuntry.Secnd,if ther factrs such as technlgy remain cnstant,ecnmic grwth and material expectatins will fall well belw recent standards and this culd invite truble.
Russia is anther cuntry with ppulatin prblems that culd break its ecnmic prmise.Since 1992 the number f peple dying has been bigger than that f thse being brn by a massive 50%.Indeed fficial figures suggest the cuntry has shrunk by 5% since 1993 and peple in Russia live a shrter life nw than thse in 1961.Why is this ccurring?Nbdy is quite sure,but pr diet and abve all lng-time alchlism have much t d with it.If current trends dn’t bend,Russia’s ppulatin will be abut the size f Yemen’s by the year 2050.
In the nrth f India,the ppulatin is bming due t high birth rates,but in the suth,where mst ecnmic develpment is taking place,birth rate is falling rapidly.In a further twist,birth rate is highest in prly educated rural areas and lwest in highly educated urban areas.In ttal,25% f India’s wrking-age ppulatin has n educatin.In 2030,a sixth f the cuntry’s ptential wrk frce culd be ttally uneducated.
One slutin is bviusly t imprt freign wrkers via immigratin.As fr the USA,it is almst unique amng develped natins in having a ppulatin that is expected t grw by 20% frm 2010—2030.Mrever,the USA has a track recrd f successfully accepting immigrants.As a result it’s likely t see a rise in the size f its wrking-age ppulatin and t witness strng ecnmic grwth ver the lnger term.
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5.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。
Online schls are becming very ppular tday. Whether it is wrking prfessinals wh cannt affrd the time t g t a full-time cllege because f their huge wrklad r stay-at-hme mums wh have many duties and cannt jin in a cllege, nline schls are much enjyed at all. And nw, even regular students, wh have the time t g t cllege, are ging in fr nline educatin, as it leaves them with enugh time t pursue ther things, such as a part-time jb r a hbby, alng with studying. Hwever, as with everything, there are bth advantages and disadvantages f nline schling.
Let’s start with the psitives. These schls cst much less. Yu dn’t have t spend mney n buying bks r bus fees. Anther advantage is the flexibility it prvides. Yu can study at any time during the day. Yu can study wherever yu want---in yur huse, at a cafe r even in a park.
Mve n t the disadvantages f nline schling. Thse students wh always need a push frm their teachers t d well, are very likely nt t d well in nline schls. And the greatest disadvantage ging t schl nline is that there are many emplyers wh prefer students with a traditinal degree t thse wh have an nline degree. The emplyers feel that students wh g t full-time clleges are mre knwledgeable cmpared t thse wh have nline degrees. Since the very purpse f educatin is t land a persn a gd jb, nline degrees, many a time, d nt serve this purpse.
N dubt that nline schls ffer the freedm which n regular cllege can prvide. Hwever hw much the emplyers will value the degrees and whether a student can actually make his wn study schedule and mst imprtantly, stick t it, depend upn individuals( AA). S in the end, it can be rightly said, nline schls are gd fr sme, while thers shuld give them a skip.
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答案与解析
1.【参考范文】
Facing the first jb ffer, satisficers prbably grasp it while maximizers will likely keep waiting fr a better ne. Having submitted mre applicatins than the satisficer, maximizers are mre likely t have better payff. Hwever, despite the higher salary, maximizers are mre wrried abut the ther wrking pprtunities they missed, s they are less happy than satisficers. (57 wrds)
【解析】
这是一篇概要写作,完成本题主要依赖于对文章中心内容的精准提炼和概括。
与文章保持一致,进行概要写作时应使用第三人称、一般现在时。分析原文内容,第一段是引入,且无实质内容,只是一个设问,可不进行概括。第二、三、四段主要讲了三层内容。
第一层:易于满足者比利益最大化者更容易找到工作,利益最大化者要等久一点;
第二层:然而,利益最大化者工资起薪更高;
第三层:虽然工资更高,但她们并不快乐、幸福。
据此,可以进行本篇概要写作。
【范文点评】
本篇概要写作要点全面,语言凝练,使用了现在分词作状语的表达,如Facing the first jb ffer和Having submitted mre applicatins than the satisficer,同时,despite the higher salary这样的短语表达也十分出彩。
2.【参考范文】
Smart phnes are playing an increasingly imprtant rle in peple's life, but they are als depriving peple f three basic abilities. Fr ne thing, sme peple lse the ability t remember telephne numbers. Secndly, sme peple lse their sense f directin. Third, sme peple lse their scial skills. Frtunately, peple can reclaim these abilities by returning t the way they used t be. Mst imprtantly, we need sme time withut cell phnes.
【解析】
本文是一篇议论文。文章以论证的方式说明了智能手机时代给人们带来的三种能力的丧失,以及如何恢复这三种能力。
本文是一篇概要写作,要求写出文章的主题大意和要点,要写全要点,抓住重点,要使用自己比较熟悉的词汇、短语和句型,恰当使用过渡词和连接词,以使文章连贯、流畅。要尽量使用高级词汇和句型、各种从句以及非谓语动词等高级形式,以体现较高的写作水平。本文写作时人称以第三人称为主,时态采用一般现在时。
在写作时应注意把握本文文章要点:1. 智能手机在人们生活中扮演着重要角色,但也给人们带来了三种能力的丧失;2. 有人丧失了记忆电话号码的能力;3. 有人丧失了方向感;4.有人丧失了社交技能;5. 应该积极找回这些能力。有时候,我们需要一些没有手机在身边的时候。写作时应注意上下文连贯及词数要求。
【范文点评】
范文内容完整,要点全面,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当,上下文意思连贯,符合逻辑关系。作者在范文中使用了不少固定用法,比如:play an imprtant rle in,sense f directin等让文章增色不少。文章长短结合,错落有致,语句自然。
3.【参考范文】
Emjis have becme imprtant in cmmunicatin. Since the creatin in Japan in the 1990s, their number has risen s sharply that nw each emtin has a crrespnding emji. They replace nn-verbal languages in face-t-face cmmunicatin due t its efficiency in cnveying feelings while emjis can cause misunderstanding:they add clr t cmmunicatin, they may indicate the weakening f traditinal writing.
【解析】
写作步骤
1)细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文,掌握文章主旨。文章介绍了表情符号在交流中的重要地位,历史演变过程以及表情符号的优点与它可能会造成的一些问题。
2)弄清结构,归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要,不是写某一部分的概要,或者就某些问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构,归纳文章各段大意。本文第一描写表情符号在如今交流中的运用;第二段描写表情符号的历史演变进程;第三、四段描写表情符号的优点;第五段描写表情符号的运用可能会产生的一些问题和缺点。
3)列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构,将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。本文中要点有三:第一,介绍表情符号的地位;第二,表情符号的历史演变;第三,表情符号的优点;第四,表情符号会造成的问题。
4)在写作时要特别注意下面几点:
(1)概要应包括原文中的主要事实,略去不必要的细节。
(2)安排好篇幅的比例,概要应同原文保持协调,即用较多的文字写重要内容,用较少的文字写次要内容。
(3)注意要点之间的衔接,要用适当的关联词语贯通全文,切忌只简单地写出一些互不相干的句子,但也不要每两句之间都加关联词语,以免显得生硬。
(4)不排斥用原文的某些词句,但不要照搬原文的句子,如果不能完全用自己的话语表达,至少对原文句子做一些同义词替换,如果结构上也能有一些转换会更好。
(5)计算词数,看是否符合规定的词数要求。
【范文点评】
范文内容完整,语言规范,语篇连贯,词数适当。作者在范文中使用了较多高级表达方式,如Since the creatin in Japan in the 1990s, their number has risen s sharply that nw each emtin has a crrespnding emji. 运用了结果状语从句。They replace nn-verbal languages in face-t-face cmmunicatin due t its efficiency in cnveying feelings while emjis can cause misunderstanding 运用了while表前后对比。全文中没有中国式英语的句式,显示了很高的驾驭英语的能力。另外,文章思路清晰、层次分明,上下句转换自然,为文章增色添彩。
4.【参考范文】
The impact f drpping birth rate in the 21st century may be disastrus t bth develped and develping cuntries, resulting in lack f yung wrk frce. (要点1) This ppulatin prblem facing China will greatly affect its ecnmic grwth. (要点2) The earlier death f Russians caused by peple's way f life will als damage its ecnmic future. (要点3) One slutin, like America, is t increase its ppulatin thrugh immigratin, which will cmpensate fr the decline. (要点4) (71 wrds)
【解析】
这是一篇概要写作题。文章要求是写一篇60词左右的文章概要。
分四个要点:第一、出生率的下降也许是灾难,因为这样会缺少劳动力。The impact f drpping birth rate in the 21st century may be disastrus t bth develped and develping cuntries, resulting in lack f yung wrk frce. (要点1)
第二、中国要面对的这个人口问题会严重影响其经济增长。This ppulatin prblem facing China will greatly affect its ecnmic grwth. (要点2)
第三、因为生活方式导致俄罗斯人早死也会导致其经济问题。The earlier death f Russians caused by peple's way f life will als damage its ecnmic future. (要点3)
第四、一个解决方案就像美国一样增加移民以增加人口数量,这会弥补人口的衰减。One slutin, like America, is t increase its ppulatin thrugh immigratin, which will cmpensate fr the decline. (要点4)
【范文点评】
使用高级句型如使用现在分词和过去分词作各种成分: in lack f yung wrk frce.作结果状语。prblem facing China作定语。caused by peple's way f life作death的定语。非限制性定语从句的使用:, which will cmpensate fr the decline. (要点4)
5.【参考范文】
Nwadays nline schls are enjying great ppularity by peple frm all walks f life. Nevertheless, they have bth strengths and weaknesses.(要点1)On ne hand, nline schls have the lw cst and freedm that regular schls can’t ffer.(要点2)On the ther hand, thse wh lack self-discipline may d badly in nline schls. Wrse still, many emplyers dn’t value nline degrees(要点3)In brief, hw t make use f nline schls varies frm persn t persn.(要点4)(73 wrds)
【解析】
本文是概要写作。这是一篇说明文。文章分析了网络学校的优缺点。最后文章强调,如何使用在线学校因人而异。
本文是概要写作,要求写出文章的主题大意和要点,要写全要点,抓住重点,要使用自己比较熟悉的词汇、短语和句型,恰当使用过渡词和连接词,以使文章连贯、流畅。要尽量使用高级词汇和句型、各种从句以及非谓语动词等高级形式,以体现较高的写作水平。本文写作时人称以第三人称为主,时态采用一般现在时。
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